What Surah Kahf says about the relationship between parents and children - Part 2
The second story regarding the relationship between parents and children comes much later in the surah, where Musa AS is following Khidr to gain some knowledge from him.
Khidr surprises Musa AS by killing a young boy, which was by the command of Allah SWT. Musa AS considered Khidr's crime to be a "horrible crime," but Khidr himself explains why he killed the boy:
And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared that he would overburden them by transgression and disbelief. So we intended that their Lord should substitute for them one better than him in purity and nearer to mercy.
وَأَمَّا ٱلْغُلَـٰمُ فَكَانَ أَبَوَاهُ مُؤْمِنَيْنِ فَخَشِينَآ أَن يُرْهِقَهُمَا طُغْيَـٰنًۭا وَكُفْرًۭا ٨٠
فَأَرَدْنَآ أَن يُبْدِلَهُمَا رَبُّهُمَا خَيْرًۭا مِّنْهُ زَكَوٰةًۭ وَأَقْرَبَ رُحْمًۭا ٨١
Khidr also tells Musa AS that what he did was not from his own desires, but from what he was commanded to do:
وَمَا فَعَلْتُهُۥ عَنْ أَمْرِى
And I did it not of my own accord.
This boy was going to grow up to be a disbeliever, backed by the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas that Ubayy bin Ka'b narrated that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"The boy that Al-Khidr killed was destined to be a disbeliever the day he was created.'"
(Jami’ At-Tirmidhi 3150)
If the boy had lived, the righteous parents would have been happy in the beginning, but devastated in the end. They would have seen their innocent, sweet, child grow up to be a rebellious disbeliever, and that sadness would last with them till the day they died.
On top of that, their child will not be with them in Jannah.
But because Allah took the boy early, the boy died a believer, and will be reunited with his parents in Jannah. Not only that, but Allah SWT gave the parents another child who was a righteous child.
In the second scenario, the parents will go through immense grief in the beginning, but in the end, they will be even more happy and rejoiceful.
They will be with both children instead of one in Jannah.
If you read from the Tafsir as-Sa'di about this ayah, you will find another reason why Allah ordered the boy to be killed. The parents themselves would have ended up as disbelievers, due to the child either forcing them to disbelieve and transgress, or due to the parents' love for the child, or need for the child.
This is a phenomenon we see today, where a child’s decision to do something against Islam leads to their parents reluctantly agreeing at first, and then out of love for the child, end up fully advocating for that same cause which goes against Islam. (Feminism anyone?)
In conclusion, this story is just one of many examples that answers the age-old question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
What we consider to be "bad" is actually a blessing in disguise that we won’t know about until later on, either in this life or the next.
In the case of the boy killed by Khidr, three lives were saved!
The boy was saved from disbelief, and the parents were also saved from disbelief.
This is a huge lesson for us, because when a parent loses a child, one cannot even imagine the kind of pain that parent goes through. It is a huge test, and one that the parent will have to live with for the rest of their life.
In the end though, we just have to always remember that Allah wants what is best for us, and put our ultimate trust in His divine decree.
Clean vs cluttered home.
As a parent I feel like you have 1 of 2 choices:
Cluttered house with children’s books everywhere.
Clean house with rarely any books, and kids with phones.
Choose wisely.
Homeschooling and flexibility.
When homeschooling your children, you have to establish a routine and a system that fits your family’s lifestyle.
Everyone will have a different routine.
Our routine is starting later in the day, and ending later in the day.
Sometimes, we are doing classes till after isha prayers, but these are all planned.
On other days, we skip school on Fridays, and do school on Saturday.
There are other activities and appointments going on during the day, and it becomes easy to adjust as you need to.
You can make it your own.
Just like entrepreneurship.
Phenylephrine never worked for decongestion.
Jeffrey Kopp from CNN:
The US Food and Drug Administration announced a proposal to remove oral phenylephrine – a common ingredient in many popular over-the-counter decongestants – from the market, citing evidence that it doesn’t work.
Phenylephrine, found in products like Sudafed PE, Vicks DayQuil and Mucinex Sinus-Max, has been widely used as a nasal decongestant for decades. The FDA’s proposal isn’t an immediate order; it launches a six-month public comment period, after which the agency will make a final decision on whether to pull it from shelves.
I could have told you long ago that this garbage doesn't work.
You know what else doesn't work? Dextromethorphan, which is listed on the bottle in this article.
What does work for cough? Honey.
What does work for nasal congestion? Pseudoephedrine. You know it works if you have to show your driver's license to get it.
What Surah Kahf says about the relationship between parents and children - Part 1
Meant to post this yesterday, but better late than never.
——
Surah Kahf is filled with many gems that we can benefit from, but I wanted to focus on 3 specific instances that if we think about deeply, they will help us as parents and in sha Allah help us raise righteous young men and women.
The first story in Surah Kahf where young men are mentioned is regarding the people of the cave. We could argue all day about who these people were and from what time period, but that is not the point.
The point is to take lessons from what Allah did mention.
In Verse 10, the young men were taking refuge in a cave, and asked Allah:
رَبَّنَآ ءَاتِنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةًۭ وَهَيِّئْ لَنَا مِنْ أَمْرِنَا رَشَدًۭا ١٠
“Our Lord! Grant us mercy from Yourself and guide us rightly through our ordeal.”
Allah responded to them in verse 13, where Allah says:
نَّحْنُ نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ نَبَأَهُم بِٱلْحَقِّ ۚ إِنَّهُمْ فِتْيَةٌ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِرَبِّهِمْ وَزِدْنَـٰهُمْ هُدًۭى ١٣“We relate to you ˹O Prophet˺ their story in truth. They were youths who truly believed in their Lord, and We increased them in guidance.”
They were being persecuted for their beliefs, but they didn’t ask Allah,
“Oh Allah, spare my life!”
“Oh Allah, don’t allow me to die!”
They knew that it wasn’t about life or death, but they wanted to make sure they wouldn’t lose what is really of value.
Their Islam.
Their submission to Allah.
They didn't want to be among those who out of fear turned back on their religion.
Subhan Allah!
Now the question is, how did these youth become so grounded in their faith?
Family systems were strong back in the day, and there is no doubt that their family had a huge influence on their Islam.
It was probably their parents (after Allah of course), who had the most influence on them being righteous and sincere.
Their proper grounding in Islam is confirmed later on when those young men sent one of them to town to get some halal food.
I don’t say halal food as a joke, but they LITERALLY said to get some pure food in verse 19:
فَٱبْعَثُوٓا۟ أَحَدَكُم بِوَرِقِكُمْ هَـٰذِهِۦٓ إِلَى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ فَلْيَنظُرْ أَيُّهَآ أَزْكَىٰ طَعَامًۭا…
فَلْيَأْتِكُم بِرِزْقٍۢ مِّنْهُ وَلْيَتَلَطَّفْ وَلَا يُشْعِرَنَّ بِكُمْ أَحَدًا١٩
“...So send one of you with these silver coins of yours to the city, and let him find which food is the purest, and then bring you provisions from it. Let him be ˹exceptionally˺ cautious, and do not let him give you away.”
Remember, they were sleeping for 300 years, and they were hungry, but to them it seemed like they only slept for an hour or two.
But they didn’t compromise.
Only get the pure food!
Subhan Allah.
They were starving, yet they only wanted what was pure and halal, even in a life and death situation.
Their actions and thought processes were with the Islamic filter intact and unclogged.
This Islamic mindset was ingrained in them, and it became a natural way for them to think and act.
Besides the pure food, he was told to not bring any attention to yourself, because if he gets caught, one of two things will happen.
Now this is the crazy part.
They said, “if the people find out about you, they will stone you ˹to death˺, or force you back into their faith, and then you will never succeed.”
Did you catch that last part?
They will force you back into their faith, and THEN you will never succeed.
They didn’t associate living with success, and getting stoned to death with failure.
They associated “forcing you back into their faith,” as failure!
Once again, the Islamic values were instilled deep within these youth.
Don’t underestimate the youth and what they are capable of.
Don’t leave their upbringing up to a system that goes against Islamic values.
Don’t leave their upbringing up to a system that praises science and the human mind instead of Allah.
Remember, after Allah, it is righteous parents and family who pave the path for righteous children.
A father who is not present could be annoying.
If you're not around to see your children grow, they will be used to your absence.
When you finally do have time when the kids are older, they will be used to not having you around, and they will feel awkward around you.
They won't know what to say, since you were not there when they needed you most.
You were too busy doing what you thought was best for them by earning more money, but you lost your kids in the meantime.
There is nothing wrong with earning more money, but at what cost?
You always have to weigh the pros and cons when choosing an occupation that requires a significant amount of travel.
The pay might be good, but don't forget about your children, which is more precious wealth.
Not only are children a form of wealth, but they are a trust from Allah.
We are responsible for their upbringing!
Unfortunately the village doesn't exist like it used to anymore, so you can't raise your children the way you were raised.
Perhaps your father was also not around as much as you would have liked or as much as he should have been, but don't let that bleed into your tarbiyah for your children.
Your children don't really care about the fancy clothes and gadgets, they want time with you.
The only reason kids care about these superficial things is because it might make them more accepted among their peers.
Your child just wants to be recognized and appreciated.
That should be coming from you, the father.
If they have quality time with their father, they will not care excessively about superficial things.
My father didn't travel for work, but he worked in one place and we lived in another state.
Half my childhood was a life where I saw my dad for 2-3 months out of the year.
It was really nice to see him when he would come on vacation and we would go to restaurants a lot, but there were some downsides:
It totally messed up our routine.
We were so used to him not being around, but now we had to adjust and accommodate our schedules to spend time with him.
I know that sounds bad, but no one likes their routine to be disrupted.
It's an unfortunate reality, and it isn't something to be proud of.
Once I had children, I made a promise to myself that I do not want my presence to be an annoyance for my children.
I want to be an integral part of their lives, because it is not just about me.
And it is not just about my children.
It is about the future generations as well.
If I am not present, I could be starting a trend where the children will also think the father does not have to be present.
I don't want this mentality to trickle down to my future generations.
The facts don’t lie: fathers who aren’t present lead to worse outcomes in children.
In their finances, their health, their education, etc.
Just read “The Boy Crisis” by Warren Farrell, and you’ll know what I mean.
We need to have the mentality of Ibrahim AS, who didn't just think about his children, but he thought about his dhurriyat.
His future generations!
One of the famous duas he made is in the Qur'an, where he prayed for his future generations to be among those who establish the salat:
رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِیْ مُقِیْمَ الصَّلٰوةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّیَّتِیْ ۖۗ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ ۟
Our Lord! Forgive me, my parents, and the believers on the Day when the judgment will come to pass.”
Surah Ibrahim (14:40)
Oh Allah, make us righteous parents who are present in our childrens’ lives, Ameen.
The Butterfly Effect.
Once you have kids, your experiences with them can have a butterfly effect.
What is the butterfly effect?
The butterfly effect is the idea that small, seemingly trivial events may ultimately result in something with much larger consequences – in other words, they have non-linear impacts on very complex systems. For instance, when a butterfly flaps its wings in India, that tiny change in air pressure could eventually cause a tornado in Iowa.
There will be a lineage after you, and what you do can change the course of history for your family.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Our children are an amana from Allah.
Allah has put us in charge of them.
Allah gave us that responsibility, knowing we can do it, but are we living up to the task?
Barakah through homeschooling
When you homeschool your children, you are earning Allah’s barakah (blessings) in multiple ways:
What takes 8 hours in school can be done in 2-3 hours.
Barakah in time.
Your children are learning in an Islamic environment.
Barakah in your lives and theirs.
You can travel and do things at your own schedule.
Once again, barakah in time.
Your most important asset and trust from Allah, your children, will be growing up within the Islamic paradigm uncorrupted.
Barakah in family and wealth.
Chairs are bad for your health.
Many kids cannot sit still in a chair.
That is because sitting in a chair is unnatural.
The default position was sitting on the ground, or standing and getting work done.
We have been conditioned to think that sitting in this 90 degree chair is a natural way to get things done.
And the poor kid, who has been sitting on the floor, working out his back and core muscles naturally as he plays for the first years of his life now has to sit in a chair for 8 hours or more when he goes to school.
What will the child do?
Naturally he will be agitated. It does not feel normal, or comfortable to him.
What is the next step?
In order to maintain class order, the child might be recommended to be evaluated by a physician due to his “erratic” behavior and his inability to sit still in a chair.
Next thing you know, your child has to be medicated just so he can sit still.
One problem solved by another even bigger problem.
That is at year 6 of a child's life.
What will happen with another 12 years of this type of conditioning to a child?
Allah makes you start at the top.
I remember on the first day of class, one of my teachers said something that changed the perspectives of several students:
"Right now, everyone of you has the same grade.
An A+.
100%.
It is up to you to maintain that grade throughout the semester."
The mind shift here is amazing.
You are not starting at the bottom, but you are starting at the top.
When you have a child, it is a pure innocent child that is starting with the Fitra.
At 100% devoted to Allah.
Your job as the parent is to make sure you keep it as close as possible to that 100%.
You are what you consume.
We all know good habits can lead to success if developed early on.
One of the best habits you can have for your children is good food habits.
Good food habits leads to good health, which is the best form of wealth after Iman.
Would you rather have a billion dollars and cancer, or whatever money you have now and no cancer? 🤔
We have been told for a long time that cancer is a genetic disease, but it is actually a metabolic disease.
What you eat, drink, vape, snort, etc, has a direct effect on your body.
As Muslims, we already have a habit of looking at food labels for years to make sure they don’t have gelatin or alcohol, but you should add the dirty dozen to your list as well.
Some of these ingredients are banned in Europe over serious health concerns, but are still put in our foods here in the US:
1. Potassium bromate
2. Propylparaben
3. Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA)
4. Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)
5. Titanium dioxide
6. Seven artificial dyes
7. Aspartame
8. Azodicarbonamide (ADA)
9. Propyl gallate
10. Sodium benzoate
11. Methylene chloride, trichloroethylene and ethylene dichloride
12. Sodium nitrite:
These chemicals will make you sick, and can cause cancer, such as potassium bromate and red dye 3.
How about food preservatives like propylparaben that can lead to infertility?
Or sodium nitrite that is a known cancer causing chemical?
Your diet should change after looking at this list (mine has), but it will be better for you and your family.
It also brings new light to what Allah said in the Quran:
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ كُلُوا۟ مِمَّا فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ حَلَـٰلًۭا طَيِّبًۭا وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا۟ خُطُوَٰتِ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّۭ مُّبِينٌ ١٦٨
O humanity! Eat from what is lawful and good on the earth and do not follow Satan’s footsteps. He is truly your sworn enemy.
Surah Baqara (2:168)
We all strive for lawful food, but how about good, pure food?
We can eat donuts and processed coffee mocha latte macchiato grandes everyday and it will be halal, but will it be good for you?
One of the best ways to establish a healthy diet in your children is home-cooked meals.
The benefits of a home-cooked meal are more important than you can imagine.
The motherly love and sustenance that she can give to you and your child are beyond what you can understand, because we don’t necessarily see the benefits of prevention.
There are no visual cues of prevention.
There is no celebration for prevention.
But as Muslims, we can get rewarded even for eating a healthier diet with the right intention.
Subhan Allah, how beautiful is the affair of the believer!
You can eat healthy and live a more fulfilling life, and be worshiping Allah at the same time.
That home-cooked meal that your child loves, they can be getting rewarded by Allah by simply making the intention to eat healthy and be a stronger Muslim.
The goal is to make healthier decisions as early as possible for ourselves and our children.
Make small changes at a time, so as not to shock your bodyd (and your mood!)
A non-Muslim’s perspective of the Fitra.
Interesting perspective of the Fitra from a non-Muslim. Quoted from Hamza Tzortzis' book:
Professor Justin Barret's research in his book, Born believers: the science of children's religious belief, looked at the behaviour and claims of children. He concluded that the children believed in what he calls "natural religion." This is the idea that there is a personal Being that created the entire universe. That Being cannot be human—it must be divine, supernatural:
"Scientific research on children's developing minds and supernatural beliefs suggests that children normally and rapidly acquire minds that facilitate belief in supernatural agents.
Particularly in the first year after birth, children distinguish between agents and non-agents, understanding agents as able to move themselves in purposeful ways to pursue goals. They are keen to find agency around them, even given scant evidence.
Not long after their first birthday, babies appear to understand that agents, but not natural forces or ordinary objects, can create order out of disorder... This tendency to see function and purpose, plus an understanding that purpose and order come from minded beings, makes children likely to see natural phenomena as intentionally created. Who is the Creator? Children know people are not good candidates. It must have been a god... children are born believers of what I call natural religion....
An investment like no other.
Everybody loves passive investments.
You put your money into a venture, and watch it grow.
Whether it is bitcoin, stocks, real estate, or other businesses, we all just love passive investments since we don’t really have to put much effort into them.
But there’s one investment that cannot be passive.
And it is your biggest investment.
Your children.
They are a trust from Allah, and we have to make sure we do our due diligence in raising them the right way.
There is no option to be passive here.
Doubting your ability to homeschool?
We have tried so many difficult things in life, and when we look back, we feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to Allah because He made so many things happen for us, and with relative ease.
We have moved from our home countries to foreign countries and established a better life for ourselves.
We learned a foreign language and were able to thrive in an environment that was completely alien to us.
We went through college, studied the hardest courses, and were able to attain the degree we wanted.
Accomplishment after accomplishment, we have been able to always push the bar.
Unfortunately when people are considering homeschooling their children, they come up with false hurdles in their path.
Even though they are more than qualified to teach elementary grade classes with their post graduate degrees, they still doubt themselves and their ability to educate their child.
One of the biggest holdbacks parents have is:
“I Can’t Homeschool Because I don’t have the patience for it.”
While that may be true, your patience will only grow as you put yourself through tougher and tougher situations.
Didn’t you have patience when you were moving to another country forever?
Didn’t you have patience when you studied your butt off to get that degree?
Didn’t you have patience while you were pregnant?
Didn’t you have patience while you were giving birth?
Parents go through so much before the child is even born, and although it gets harder, it also gets more rewarding.
Both in this life and the next.
Seeing your child struggle through problems and then finally “figure it out,” is a moment of joy for both of you.
A moment you can share together.
Remember, when you ask Allah to make you patient, He can’t just “give” you patience.
He has to put you through situations where your ability to be patient can manifest!
The biggest time saver as a homeschooler.
If you are homeschooling your kids, they will seemingly be the underdog.
They will be considered to be at a disadvantage since they don’t have access to the fancy classrooms, the laptops, the fancy whiteboards, and the arsenal of teachers, counselors, and therapists at hand.
Actually, after reading the book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” I’ll consider the lack of therapists an advantage.
The truth of the matter is, your kids will automatically be at an advantage because they will have the most important statistic when it comes to schooling:
Teacher to student ratio.
There will be a 1 to 1 student to teacher ratio, which cannot be achieved even with the most expensive of schools. That will automatically save a lot of time for both you and your child because most lessons can be done in a fraction of the time when you only have one student to teach.
If you ever tried to teach 20 plus students at a time, you know for a fact that half the time is used up just to manage the classroom behavior.
You could take those 8 hours of school, and condense it to 2-3 hours. Then your child can use that extra time to do other extracurricular activities or to focus on a subject they really like.
That is a much better use of time.
Are you leading your children down a path of disbelief?
Abu Huraira reported the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as saying:
"No child is born, but upon the Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)
This is a very scary hadith.
Your child starts off as a Muslim, but you as a parent can change them into a polytheist.
Now you as a Muslim parent would say, “Of course I wouldn’t do that! I’m a Muslim, and I have firm belief in Islam. How could I lead my own child into polytheism?!”
You will not teach them polytheism, but you will let others teach your child polytheism.
What will they learn when they are not in your care?
What will they learn from the young age of 2 weeks?
I say 2 weeks because your child will still be learning in ways you can't imagine. They will learn by sight, by touch, by feel, by sound.
Who will be the one nurturing them after a few weeks? Will it be the mother, or will it be an institutionalized daycare worker?
Will they be hearing soothing music, or their parents reciting Qur'an/dhikr when they're in these daycares?
By the time your kid reaches school, what will they be learning? You might not know because you grew up in a Muslim country and you learned about Islam and even had Fridays off for Jummah prayers.
But Western schools either treat Islam like a footnote, or even worse, like a disease.
Will the conversations in school revolve around Allah or a Creator, or will the conversations marvel at Science as its God?
Will children be taught proper manners and etiquettes, or will they be told to follow their desires without any care for others?
(Hint: They will be told to follow their desires.)
Do you think you have the ability to mitigate 8+hours a day of this type of indoctrination?
5 days a week?
An environment where religion is considered backward and blindly following society is considered progress?
The only way to mitigate this type of corruption of your child's Fitra is to be your kids' teacher.
This is a call to mothers first, and for fathers second.
Fathers need to be able to go out and provide, and mothers need to take care of the children.
Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
There is a reason why the Prophet ﷺ said that the best pleasure in this world is a righteous woman!
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1467)
Subhan Allah!
What does a righteous wife bring to the table?
Here are some benefits just from a motherly perspective:
Nurture the children in her safety blanket.
Feed the child with healthy food (breastmilk, home cooked meals)
Teach the child about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, and Islam.
Soothe the child with her beautiful voice.
Having access to the best teacher a child could have.
The benefits are endless to be honest.
The question once again is, "Will you be the one that leads your child down the path of polytheism?"
The decision is up to you.
Are children born knowing their Creator?
Interesting link to an article in Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “The Divine Reality: God, Islam and The Mirage of Atheism.”
Here’s part of the abstract with the article titled:
Are Children ‘‘Intuitive Theists’’?
“Rather than being ‘‘artificialists’’ in Piagetian terms, are children ‘‘intuitive theists’’—disposed to view natural phenomena as resulting from nonhuman design? A review of research on children’s concepts of agency, imaginary companions, and understanding of artifacts suggests that by the time children are around 5 years of age, this description of them may have explanatory value and practical relevance.”
What they are describing is the uncorrupted Fitra of the child.
The natural disposition to believe in a Creator.
Something that is being corrupted more and more by the liberal world order at large, and indirectly and unknowingly, by parents.
The article is beyond my level of understanding 😆, but here's the link for you smarter people.
Are you destroying your child’s brain?
Crypto Cranium from MuslimSkeptic about the effects of Cocomelon and other addictive shows on kids brains:
(BTW if you can't read this because it's too much reading, you are also a victim.)
Yes, rather than engaging with their children in healthy and playful activities that could be replete with beautiful teaching moments, moral lessons, and learning experiences, modern parents are increasingly opting instead for keeping their children glued, for hours on end, to a screen that will overstimulate and damage their tiny developing brains with flashing lights and loud sounds.
As a result, the upcoming generation will suffer problems with mental development and socialization leading to ADHD and autism. A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics discovered the severe effects that fast-paced television had on children’s executive functioning:
“According to a 2011 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, just nine minutes alone of exposure to fast-paced cartoons led to diminished executive functioning in preschool-aged children. The rapid succession of stimuli overwhelms the brain’s capacity to process information effectively, resulting in decreased attention spans and difficulties with self-regulation.”
At the end of the day, what effect will this have on the Ummah? Crypto Cranium continues:
What do you think being hypnotized by meaningless flashing pixels on a screen for hours every day, instead of spending that time exploring nature, playing, socializing with other children, pondering, and asking questions, etc., does to the human soul? With their spirits and natural intuitions hampered from such an early age, will they really even care about Islam and the fight between good and evil? Or will they be comfortable throwing their time and life away just staring at screens?
The funny thing about the addictions of screens and technology is that Steve Jobs himself did not allow his kids to have an iPad.
Let that sink in for a moment.
What did he say exactly when he was asked back in 2011 about banning his kids from using an iPad?
“We don’t allow the iPad in the home. We think it’s too dangerous for them in effect,” he said when asked whether his kids love the iPad.
Despite touting the iPad as a game-changer for education, web browsing, video consumption and social interaction the year before, Jobs recognized the device’s addictive nature. He understood that once the iPad became a constant presence, resisting its allure would be a challenge.
Game, set, match.
You will be tested.
Your kids and my kids have an easy life.
The minute they start growing older, they will realize that their lives will be full of tests.
They need to know that from you firsthand.
They need to know that life will never be constant bliss, but it is a constant struggle.
Just like Allah subhana wata’aalah says in the Qur’an:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle. (Surah Salad 90:4)
The struggle is real, and guaranteed!
If the Prophet ﷺ can lose 5 out of his 6 children during his lifetime, what makes you think you will not go through severe trials?
If the Prophet ﷺ can get hit in the mouth with an arrow like he did in the Battle of Uhud, what makes you think that you will not go through pain?
The Prophet ﷺ was the Khalil of Allah, the close friend of Allah, yet Allah subhana wata’aalah gave him some of the biggest trials!
As a parent, we have a natural tendency to solve our kids’ problems, but sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems.
They need to learn the struggles of life, and realize that they will have to solve their problems on their own one day.
The best way to prepare them for life is to give them that controlled independence, and allow them to find solutions on their own. It will help them develop strength, perseverance, empathy, and leadership qualities.
Be their guide that they come to for advice, but at the end of the day, let them resolve issues they are qualified to resolve.
A logistical guide to doing Umrah by yourself.
Alhamdulillah I have been to Umrah many times between 2009 and 2024. I have seen the changes and evolution of the process and I wanted to share with you all the tips and tricks I have learned in order to make your Umrah as affordable and successful as possible.
I will be discussing the process from the perspective of someone coming from the USA, and going to Umrah during off-season. Off-season is usually outside of Ramadan and Hajj seasons.
Most people are under the impression that they have to go through a group for Umrah, but if you are from the US, you can book everything yourself and save yourself some money. At the very least, you will have more transparency in pricing by breaking down the cost yourself, and then comparing it to what a group would charge. The benefits of doing it all yourself is that you are in control of your time and not anyone else. You can plan how you want things to be done, and not pay for anything extra that you might not have time for or need, such as extra touring trips.
Make sure you have the obvious things in check first: