What Surah Kahf says about the relationship between parents and children - Part 1

Meant to post this yesterday, but better late than never.

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Surah Kahf is filled with many gems that we can benefit from, but I wanted to focus on 3 specific instances that if we think about deeply, they will help us as parents and in sha Allah help us raise righteous young men and women.

The first story in Surah Kahf where young men are mentioned is regarding the people of the cave. We could argue all day about who these people were and from what time period, but that is not the point.

The point is to take lessons from what Allah did mention.

In Verse 10, the young men were taking refuge in a cave, and asked Allah:

رَبَّنَآ ءَاتِنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةًۭ وَهَيِّئْ لَنَا مِنْ أَمْرِنَا رَشَدًۭا ١٠
“Our Lord! Grant us mercy from Yourself and guide us rightly through our ordeal.”

Allah responded to them in verse 13, where Allah says:

نَّحْنُ نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ نَبَأَهُم بِٱلْحَقِّ ۚ إِنَّهُمْ فِتْيَةٌ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِرَبِّهِمْ وَزِدْنَـٰهُمْ هُدًۭى ١٣

“We relate to you ˹O Prophet˺ their story in truth. They were youths who truly believed in their Lord, and We increased them in guidance.”

They were being persecuted for their beliefs, but they didn’t ask Allah,

“Oh Allah, spare my life!”

“Oh Allah, don’t allow me to die!”

They knew that it wasn’t about life or death, but they wanted to make sure they wouldn’t lose what is really of value.

Their Islam.

Their submission to Allah.

They didn't want to be among those who out of fear turned back on their religion.

Subhan Allah!

Now the question is, how did these youth become so grounded in their faith?

Family systems were strong back in the day, and there is no doubt that their family had a huge influence on their Islam.

It was probably their parents (after Allah of course), who had the most influence on them being righteous and sincere.

Their proper grounding in Islam is confirmed later on when those young men sent one of them to town to get some halal food.

I don’t say halal food as a joke, but they LITERALLY said to get some pure food in verse 19:

فَٱبْعَثُوٓا۟ أَحَدَكُم بِوَرِقِكُمْ هَـٰذِهِۦٓ إِلَى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ فَلْيَنظُرْ أَيُّهَآ أَزْكَىٰ طَعَامًۭا…

فَلْيَأْتِكُم بِرِزْقٍۢ مِّنْهُ وَلْيَتَلَطَّفْ وَلَا يُشْعِرَنَّ بِكُمْ أَحَدًا١٩

“...So send one of you with these silver coins of yours to the city, and let him find which food is the purest, and then bring you provisions from it. Let him be ˹exceptionally˺ cautious, and do not let him give you away.”

Remember, they were sleeping for 300 years, and they were hungry, but to them it seemed like they only slept for an hour or two.

But they didn’t compromise.

Only get the pure food!

Subhan Allah.

They were starving, yet they only wanted what was pure and halal, even in a life and death situation.

Their actions and thought processes were with the Islamic filter intact and unclogged.

This Islamic mindset was ingrained in them, and it became a natural way for them to think and act.

Besides the pure food, he was told to not bring any attention to yourself, because if he gets caught, one of two things will happen.

Now this is the crazy part.

They said, “if the people find out about you, they will stone you ˹to death˺, or force you back into their faith, and then you will never succeed.”

Did you catch that last part?

They will force you back into their faith, and THEN you will never succeed.

They didn’t associate living with success, and getting stoned to death with failure.

They associated “forcing you back into their faith,” as failure!

Once again, the Islamic values were instilled deep within these youth.

Don’t underestimate the youth and what they are capable of.

Don’t leave their upbringing up to a system that goes against Islamic values.

Don’t leave their upbringing up to a system that praises science and the human mind instead of Allah.

Remember, after Allah, it is righteous parents and family who pave the path for righteous children.

A father who is not present could be annoying.

If you're not around to see your children grow, they will be used to your absence. 

When you finally do have time when the kids are older, they will be used to not having you around, and they will feel awkward around you.

They won't know what to say, since you were not there when they needed you most.

You were too busy doing what you thought was best for them by earning more money, but you lost your kids in the meantime. 

There is nothing wrong with earning more money, but at what cost?

You always have to weigh the pros and cons when choosing an occupation that requires a significant amount of travel.

The pay might be good, but don't forget about your children, which is more precious wealth.

Not only are children a form of wealth, but they are a trust from Allah. 

We are responsible for their upbringing!

Unfortunately the village doesn't exist like it used to anymore, so you can't raise your children the way you were raised. 

Perhaps your father was also not around as much as you would have liked or as much as he should have been, but don't let that bleed into your tarbiyah for your children. 

Your children don't really care about the fancy clothes and gadgets, they want time with you.

The only reason kids care about these superficial things is because it might make them more accepted among their peers. 

Your child just wants to be recognized and appreciated. 

That should be coming from you, the father.

If they have quality time with their father, they will not care excessively about superficial things.

My father didn't travel for work, but he worked in one place and we lived in another state.

Half my childhood was a life where I saw my dad for 2-3 months out of the year.

It was really nice to see him when he would come on vacation and we would go to restaurants a lot, but there were some downsides: 

It totally messed up our routine.

We were so used to him not being around, but now we had to adjust and accommodate our schedules to spend time with him.

I know that sounds bad, but no one likes their routine to be disrupted.

It's an unfortunate reality, and it isn't something to be proud of. 

Once I had children, I made a promise to myself that I do not want my presence to be an annoyance for my children.

I want to be an integral part of their lives, because it is not just about me.

And it is not just about my children.

It is about the future generations as well.

If I am not present, I could be starting a trend where the children will also think the father does not have to be present.

I don't want this mentality to trickle down to my future generations.

The facts don’t lie: fathers who aren’t present lead to worse outcomes in children.

In their finances, their health, their education, etc.

Just read “The Boy Crisis” by Warren Farrell, and you’ll know what I mean.

We need to have the mentality of Ibrahim AS, who didn't just think about his children, but he thought about his dhurriyat. 

His future generations!

One of the famous duas he made is in the Qur'an, where he prayed for his future generations to be among those who establish the salat:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِیْ مُقِیْمَ الصَّلٰوةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّیَّتِیْ ۖۗ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ ۟

Our Lord! Forgive me, my parents, and the believers on the Day when the judgment will come to pass.” 

Surah Ibrahim (14:40)

Oh Allah, make us righteous parents who are present in our childrens’ lives, Ameen.

The Butterfly Effect.

Once you have kids, your experiences with them can have a butterfly effect.

What is the butterfly effect?

The butterfly effect is the idea that small, seemingly trivial events may ultimately result in something with much larger consequences – in other words, they have non-linear impacts on very complex systems. For instance, when a butterfly flaps its wings in India, that tiny change in air pressure could eventually cause a tornado in Iowa.

There will be a lineage after you, and what you do can change the course of history for your family.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Our children are an amana from Allah.

Allah has put us in charge of them.

Allah gave us that responsibility, knowing we can do it, but are we living up to the task?

Barakah through homeschooling

When you homeschool your children, you are earning Allah’s barakah (blessings) in multiple ways:

1. What takes 8 hours in school can be done in 2-3 hours.

   Barakah in time.

2. Your children are learning in an Islamic environment.

   Barakah in your lives and theirs.

3. You can travel and do things at your own schedule.

   Once again, barakah in time.

4. Your most important asset and trust from Allah, your children, will be growing up within the Islamic paradigm uncorrupted.

   Barakah in family and wealth.

Chairs are bad for your health.

Many kids cannot sit still in a chair.

That is because sitting in a chair is unnatural.

The default position was sitting on the ground, or standing and getting work done. 

We have been conditioned to think that sitting in this 90 degree chair is a natural way to get things done.

And the poor kid, who has been sitting on the floor, working out his back and core muscles naturally as he plays for the first years of his life now has to sit in a chair for 8 hours or more when he goes to school.

What will the child do?

Naturally he will be agitated. It does not feel normal, or comfortable to him.

What is the next step? 

In order to maintain class order, the child might be recommended to be evaluated by a physician due to his “erratic” behavior and his inability to sit still in a chair.

Next thing you know, your child has to be medicated just so he can sit still.

One problem solved by another even bigger problem.

That is at year 6 of a child's life.

What will happen with another 12 years of this type of conditioning to a child?

Allah makes you start at the top.

I remember on the first day of class, one of my teachers said something that changed the perspectives of several students:

"Right now, everyone of you has the same grade.

An A+.

100%.

It is up to you to maintain that grade throughout the semester."

The mind shift here is amazing.

You are not starting at the bottom, but you are starting at the top.

When you have a child, it is a pure innocent child that is starting with the Fitra.

At 100% devoted to Allah.

Your job as the parent is to make sure you keep it as close as possible to that 100%.

You are what you consume.

We all know good habits can lead to success if developed early on.

One of the best habits you can have for your children is good food habits.

Good food habits leads to good health, which is the best form of wealth after Iman.

Would you rather have a billion dollars and cancer, or whatever money you have now and no cancer? 🤔

We have been told for a long time that cancer is a genetic disease, but it is actually a metabolic disease.

What you eat, drink, vape, snort, etc, has a direct effect on your body.

As Muslims, we already have a habit of looking at food labels for years to make sure they don’t have gelatin or alcohol, but you should add the dirty dozen to your list as well.

Some of these ingredients are banned in Europe over serious health concerns, but are still put in our foods here in the US:

1. Potassium bromate

2. Propylparaben

3. Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA)

4. Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)

5. Titanium dioxide

6. Seven artificial dyes

7. Aspartame

8. Azodicarbonamide (ADA)

9. Propyl gallate

10. Sodium benzoate

11. Methylene chloride, trichloroethylene and ethylene dichloride

12. Sodium nitrite:

These chemicals will make you sick, and can cause cancer, such as potassium bromate and red dye 3.

How about food preservatives like propylparaben that can lead to infertility?

Or sodium nitrite that is a known cancer causing chemical?

Your diet should change after looking at this list (mine has), but it will be better for you and your family.

It also brings new light to what Allah said in the Quran:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ كُلُوا۟ مِمَّا فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ حَلَـٰلًۭا طَيِّبًۭا وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا۟ خُطُوَٰتِ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّۭ مُّبِينٌ ١٦٨

O humanity! Eat from what is lawful and good on the earth and do not follow Satan’s footsteps. He is truly your sworn enemy.

Surah Baqara (2:168)

We all strive for lawful food, but how about good, pure food?

We can eat donuts and processed coffee mocha latte macchiato grandes everyday and it will be halal, but will it be good for you?

One of the best ways to establish a healthy diet in your children is home-cooked meals.

The benefits of a home-cooked meal are more important than you can imagine.

The motherly love and sustenance that she can give to you and your child are beyond what you can understand, because we don’t necessarily see the benefits of prevention.

There are no visual cues of prevention.

There is no celebration for prevention.

But as Muslims, we can get rewarded even for eating a healthier diet with the right intention.

Subhan Allah, how beautiful is the affair of the believer!

You can eat healthy and live a more fulfilling life, and be worshiping Allah at the same time.

That home-cooked meal that your child loves, they can be getting rewarded by Allah by simply making the intention to eat healthy and be a stronger Muslim.

The goal is to make healthier decisions as early as possible for ourselves and our children.

Make small changes at a time, so as not to shock your bodyd (and your mood!)

A non-Muslim’s perspective of the Fitra.

Interesting perspective of the Fitra from a non-Muslim. Quoted from Hamza Tzortzis' book:

Professor Justin Barret's research in his book, Born believers: the science of children's religious belief, looked at the behaviour and claims of children. He concluded that the children believed in what he calls "natural religion." This is the idea that there is a personal Being that created the entire universe. That Being cannot be human—it must be divine, supernatural:

"Scientific research on children's developing minds and supernatural beliefs suggests that children normally and rapidly acquire minds that facilitate belief in supernatural agents.

Particularly in the first year after birth, children distinguish between agents and non-agents, understanding agents as able to move themselves in purposeful ways to pursue goals. They are keen to find agency around them, even given scant evidence. 

Not long after their first birthday, babies appear to understand that agents, but not natural forces or ordinary objects, can create order out of disorder... This tendency to see function and purpose, plus an understanding that purpose and order come from minded beings, makes children likely to see natural phenomena as intentionally created. Who is the Creator? Children know people are not good candidates. It must have been a god... children are born believers of what I call natural religion....

An investment like no other.

Everybody loves passive investments.

You put your money into a venture, and watch it grow.

Whether it is bitcoin, stocks, real estate, or other businesses, we all just love passive investments since we don’t really have to put much effort into them.

But there’s one investment that cannot be passive.

And it is your biggest investment.

Your children.

They are a trust from Allah, and we have to make sure we do our due diligence in raising them the right way.

There is no option to be passive here.

Doubting your ability to homeschool?

We have tried so many difficult things in life, and when we look back, we feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to Allah because He made so many things happen for us, and with relative ease. 

We have moved from our home countries to foreign countries and established a better life for ourselves.

We learned a foreign language and were able to thrive in an environment that was completely alien to us. 

We went through college, studied the hardest courses, and were able to attain the degree we wanted.

Accomplishment after accomplishment, we have been able to always push the bar.

Unfortunately when people are considering homeschooling their children, they come up with false hurdles in their path. 

Even though they are more than qualified to teach elementary grade classes with their post graduate degrees, they still doubt themselves and their ability to educate their child.

One of the biggest holdbacks parents have is:

“I Can’t Homeschool Because I don’t have the patience for it.”

While that may be true, your patience will only grow as you put yourself through tougher and tougher situations.

Didn’t you have patience when you were moving to another country forever?

Didn’t you have patience when you studied your butt off to get that degree?

Didn’t you have patience while you were pregnant?

Didn’t you have patience while you were giving birth?

Parents go through so much before the child is even born, and although it gets harder, it also gets more rewarding.

Both in this life and the next.

Seeing your child struggle through problems and then finally “figure it out,” is a moment of joy for both of you.

A moment you can share together.

Remember, when you ask Allah to make you patient, He can’t just “give” you patience.

He has to put you through situations where your ability to be patient can manifest!

The biggest time saver as a homeschooler.

If you are homeschooling your kids, they will seemingly be the underdog. 

They will be considered to be at a disadvantage since they don’t have access to the fancy classrooms, the laptops, the fancy whiteboards, and the arsenal of teachers, counselors, and therapists at hand.

Actually, after reading the book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” I’ll consider the lack of therapists an advantage.

The truth of the matter is, your kids will automatically be at an advantage because they will have the most important statistic when it comes to schooling:

Teacher to student ratio.

There will be a 1 to 1 student to teacher ratio, which cannot be achieved even with the most expensive of schools. That will automatically save a lot of time for both you and your child because most lessons can be done in a fraction of the time when you only have one student to teach. 

If you ever tried to teach 20 plus students at a time, you know for a fact that half the time is used up just to manage the classroom behavior.

You could take those 8 hours of school, and condense it to 2-3 hours. Then your child can use that extra time to do other extracurricular activities or to focus on a subject they really like.

That is a much better use of time.

Are you leading your children down a path of disbelief?

Abu Huraira reported the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as saying:

"No child is born, but upon the Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)

This is a very scary hadith.

Your child starts off as a Muslim, but you as a parent can change them into a polytheist. 

Now you as a Muslim parent would say, “Of course I wouldn’t do that! I’m a Muslim, and I have firm belief in Islam. How could I lead my own child into polytheism?!”

You will not teach them polytheism, but you will let others teach your child polytheism. 

What will they learn when they are not in your care?

What will they learn from the young age of 2 weeks? 

I say 2 weeks because your child will still be learning in ways you can't imagine. They will learn by sight, by touch, by feel, by sound.

Who will be the one nurturing them after a few weeks? Will it be the mother, or will it be an institutionalized daycare worker?

Will they be hearing soothing music, or their parents reciting Qur'an/dhikr when they're in these daycares?

By the time your kid reaches school, what will they be learning? You might not know because you grew up in a Muslim country and you learned about Islam and even had Fridays off for Jummah prayers. 

But Western schools either treat Islam like a footnote, or even worse, like a disease.

Will the conversations in school revolve around Allah or a Creator, or will the conversations marvel at Science as its God?

Will children be taught proper manners and etiquettes, or will they be told to follow their desires without any care for others?

(Hint: They will be told to follow their desires.)

Do you think you have the ability to mitigate 8+hours a day of this type of indoctrination? 

5 days a week? 

An environment where religion is considered backward and blindly following society is considered progress?

The only way to mitigate this type of corruption of your child's Fitra is to be your kids' teacher.

This is a call to mothers first, and for fathers second.

Fathers need to be able to go out and provide, and mothers need to take care of the children.

Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

There is a reason why the Prophet ﷺ said that the best pleasure in this world is a righteous woman!

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.” 

(Narrated by Muslim, 1467)

Subhan Allah!

What does a righteous wife bring to the table?

Here are some benefits just from a motherly perspective:

1. Nurture the children in her safety blanket.

2. Feed the child with healthy food (breastmilk, home cooked meals)

3. Teach the child about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, and Islam.

4. Soothe the child with her beautiful voice.

5. Having access to the best teacher a child could have. 

The benefits are endless to be honest.

The question once again is, "Will you be the one that leads your child down the path of polytheism?"

The decision is up to you.

Are children born knowing their Creator?

Interesting link to an article in Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “The Divine Reality: God, Islam and The Mirage of Atheism.”

Here’s part of the abstract with the article titled:

Are Children ‘‘Intuitive Theists’’?

“Rather than being ‘‘artificialists’’ in Piagetian terms, are children ‘‘intuitive theists’’—disposed to view natural phenomena as resulting from nonhuman design? A review of research on children’s concepts of agency, imaginary companions, and understanding of artifacts suggests that by the time children are around 5 years of age, this description of them may have explanatory value and practical relevance.”

What they are describing is the uncorrupted Fitra of the child.

The natural disposition to believe in a Creator.

Something that is being corrupted more and more by the liberal world order at large, and indirectly and unknowingly, by parents.

The article is beyond my level of understanding 😆, but here's the link for you smarter people.

Are you destroying your child’s brain?

Crypto Cranium from MuslimSkeptic about the effects of Cocomelon and other addictive shows on kids brains:

(BTW if you can't read this because it's too much reading, you are also a victim.)

Yes, rather than engaging with their children in healthy and playful activities that could be replete with beautiful teaching moments, moral lessons, and learning experiences, modern parents are increasingly opting instead for keeping their children glued, for hours on end, to a screen that will overstimulate and damage their tiny developing brains with flashing lights and loud sounds.

As a result, the upcoming generation will suffer problems with mental development and socialization leading to ADHD and autism. A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics discovered the severe effects that fast-paced television had on children’s executive functioning:

“According to a 2011 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, just nine minutes alone of exposure to fast-paced cartoons led to diminished executive functioning in preschool-aged children. The rapid succession of stimuli overwhelms the brain’s capacity to process information effectively, resulting in decreased attention spans and difficulties with self-regulation.”

At the end of the day, what effect will this have on the Ummah? Crypto Cranium continues:

What do you think being hypnotized by meaningless flashing pixels on a screen for hours every day, instead of spending that time exploring nature, playing, socializing with other children, pondering, and asking questions, etc., does to the human soul? With their spirits and natural intuitions hampered from such an early age, will they really even care about Islam and the fight between good and evil? Or will they be comfortable throwing their time and life away just staring at screens?

The funny thing about the addictions of screens and technology is that Steve Jobs himself did not allow his kids to have an iPad.

Let that sink in for a moment.

What did he say exactly when he was asked back in 2011 about banning his kids from using an iPad?

“We don’t allow the iPad in the home. We think it’s too dangerous for them in effect,” he said when asked whether his kids love the iPad.

Despite touting the iPad as a game-changer for education, web browsing, video consumption and social interaction the year before, Jobs recognized the device’s addictive nature. He understood that once the iPad became a constant presence, resisting its allure would be a challenge.

Game, set, match.

You will be tested.

Your kids and my kids have an easy life.

The minute they start growing older, they will realize that their lives will be full of tests.

They need to know that from you firsthand. 

They need to know that life will never be constant bliss, but it is a constant struggle. 

Just like Allah subhana wata’aalah says in the Qur’an:

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤

Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle. (Surah Salad 90:4)

The struggle is real, and guaranteed!

If the Prophet ﷺ can lose 5 out of his 6 children during his lifetime, what makes you think you will not go through severe trials? 

If the Prophet ﷺ can get hit in the mouth with an arrow like he did in the Battle of Uhud, what makes you think that you will not go through pain?

The Prophet ﷺ was the Khalil of Allah, the close friend of Allah, yet Allah subhana wata’aalah gave him some of the biggest trials!

As a parent, we have a natural tendency to solve our kids’ problems, but sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems. 

They need to learn the struggles of life, and realize that they will have to solve their problems on their own one day.

The best way to prepare them for life is to give them that controlled independence, and allow them to find solutions on their own. It will help them develop strength, perseverance, empathy, and leadership qualities.

Be their guide that they come to for advice, but at the end of the day, let them resolve issues they are qualified to resolve.

A logistical guide to doing Umrah by yourself.

Alhamdulillah I have been to Umrah many times between 2009 and 2024. I have seen the changes and evolution of the process and I wanted to share with you all the tips and tricks I have learned in order to make your Umrah as affordable and successful as possible.

I will be discussing the process from the perspective of someone coming from the USA, and going to Umrah during off-season. Off-season is usually outside of Ramadan and Hajj seasons. 

Most people are under the impression that they have to go through a group for Umrah, but if you are from the US, you can book everything yourself and save yourself some money. At the very least, you will have more transparency in pricing by breaking down the cost yourself, and then comparing it to what a group would charge. The benefits of doing it all yourself is that you are in control of your time and not anyone else. You can plan how you want things to be done, and not pay for anything extra that you might not have time for or need, such as extra touring trips.

Make sure you have the obvious things in check first:

1. Passport - it should have at least 6 months of validity before travelling. Not my rules.

2. Tickets - book your flight like you would any other flight from your airline of choice. You will need these dates for your Visa since they will ask you what day you plan on arriving and leaving. 

3. Visa - this is very simple and you can easily do it online. Once you have filled out the application, you will get your Visa via email in literally 10 minutes. They do ask for a Passport sized photo, but the lighting and crop doesn’t have to be perfect. I had a clear background in my photo, but the lighting was a little bit off yet they still accepted my photo for the Visa. Any smartphone that can take a clear photo will do. Do not spend $20 having your photo “professionally” taken at CVS or Walgreens. You will also be able to scale the image on the Visa website, so you don’t have to worry about the zoom of your photos. Worst case scenario, you take another photo at home and upload it if you zoomed in or out too much.

4. The Visa website is a bit glitchy, but once you get your Visa you don’t have to worry about interacting with the site again. The cost for the Visa and obligatory health insurance was $107. You will get your Visa via email, but you can also login to the website and print your Visa on the main page.

5. If you have multiple family members, you can set up one account on the website, and apply for multiple people under your account. I did that for my wife and 3 kids, and all their visas were listed on the main landing page once I logged in.

6. Make sure you select the travel Visa and not the Umrah visa. The travel Visa gives you a whole calendar year to enter multiple times. Sure you don’t get a free zamzam bottle if you would have chosen the Umrah visa, but you can easily purchase a zamzam bottle for like $4. Selecting the Umrah visa might also limit the length of your Visa.

Before leaving

1. At least a month before your trip, you should start conditioning your body for the significant amount of walking that you will be doing. You can easily hit 15,000 steps per day in Makkah and Madinah without even realizing it, so make sure you have a basic fitness routine that involves a lot of walking before you leave. 

2. You do not require the meningitis vaccine with the travel Visa. I have never selected the Umrah Visa option, so not sure if that would require you to have the meningitis vaccine. I would assume you would not need it. No one has checked my meningitis vaccine status in the last 2 years that I have gone for Umrah.

3. Make sure you pack your medications. Don’t overpack, but have enough of the basics that you might need if you tend to get sick when going overseas. Worst case scenario, there are plenty of pharmacies there that you can use to replenish your stock. Medications are about the same or even a bit more expensive than buying them from the USA. 

4. A good, thick, cotton Egyptian made ihram costs about 100SAR in Saudi (about $27), so it might be cheaper to get it from there (assuming you’re going to Madinah first).

5. Buy all your non-scented soaps and non-scented deodorants before hand so you’re not wasting time in the Holy lands looking for these items. You want to maximize your time there for worship. A quick search on Amazon for “unscented soap bar,” and “unscented deodorant,” will get you what you need.

6. Stick to one authority when it comes to the rules of Umrah so you don’t get confused about what breaks your Umrah and what minor violations require paying a penalty (fidya). Don’t try to learn the Fiqh of Umrah on the fly! Here is a document I made up and used based on information from islamqa.info and also based on lectures from Shuyukh who discuss what penalties require a fidya.

7. Don’t overpack your suitcases, especially if you plan on buying gifts/dates to bring back to the US. Personally I pack light and I don’t buy gifts for people, and I don’t expect gifts from people either when they go to Umrah. Just focus on worship and keeping yourself healthy and hydrated.

8. Book your ground transportation from a website like umrahtaxiservice.com. Very simple to book your transportation between airport to hotel, Makkah to Madinah, etc. Initially you only have to make one reservation from your airport to hotel of choice. Afterwards, you can make appointments for whenever you want to depart to Makkah or Madinah or back to your airport.

   (No I don’t get any commission from them, and no I don’t have any stake in this company.)

   Most communication will take place thru WhatsApp. Even if your Urdu or Arabic sucks, they will be able to communicate in English as best as they can. At the end of the day, they just need to know where to pick you up from, and what hotel/airport to drop you off to.

9. Make sure you have physical copies of your Visas and not just digital copies. You will have to show your Visa many times during your trip, so keep it handy at all times.

Makkah or Madinah first?

This really comes down to personal preference. In the beginning you are at the peak of your health, so it might be best to do Umrah first. Makkah is more hectic overall than Madinah, so this would be what I would opt for in the future. I did Madinah first in 2023 and then Makkah second, which was not bad since I was by myself. 

This past month we did the same thing, but I ended up getting sick and so did my kids by the time we got to Makkah, so it would have been better for us as a family to go to Makkah first, do Umrah at our maximum health, and then go to Madinah. Being sick in Madinah is always better than being sick in Makkah because Madinah is just more peaceful and getting around is a lot less stressful.

Tips for Makkah

The authorities in Makkah only allow you to go to the ground floor to do tawaf if you are performing Umrah. The way they check this is not through the Nusuk app, but they just do a visual check to make sure you are wearing an ihram. If you are wearing ihram, you get to go to the ground floor to make tawaf. If you have already performed Umrah, and are wearing street clothes, you cannot go to the ground floor and make tawaf unfortunately. The only tawaf you can do is on the 2nd floor, and you get a very, very, limited view of the Ka’bah itself.

There is a way around this though, and it might be controversial, but there’s nothing haram about it. All you have to do is wear your ihram without being in the state of ihram, and you can go to the first floor and make tawaf the way you were meant to. You can watch this fatwa if you have any doubts about whether or not you should do this. 

If you have a son who is also doing Umrah, keep his ihram clean after doing your actual Umrah since he would need to wear his ihram again just like you in order to gain access to the ground floor for tawaf. My son is 10 years old, and the cleaning crew told me that if he wears street clothes, they won’t let him in to make the ground floor tawaf. 

For this reason alone, it is not a bad idea to have an extra ihram with you because your first one could get quite dirty and it would take at least a day to get it washed. You will already be pretty tired, and it is just easier to have a second ihram that you use after your Umrah in order to gain access to the ground floor for tawaf. 

While you are on the ground floor, make sure you look at the Ka’bah a lot because this is the only place where you can look at it in its full glory. This is the best time to reflect upon the house of Allah and to increase your faith, knowing that this is the place where Ibrahim AS raised the foundations of the original house of worship. This is also your only time to have an opportunity to touch the Yemeni corner and to kiss the Black Stone.

The roof does have access for tawaf, but you can’t see the ka’bah at all like you could in the past as the edges of the roof are blocked off for construction. The second floor is the same way, where the inner sections of the second floor are blocked off for construction and you can barely see glimpses of the Ka’bah.

Tips for Madinah

Madinah is a lot more organized and peaceful. If you do go to Makkah first, you don’t have to hoard zamzam water because Madinah also has plenty of zamzam available. In Madinah you do have to make an appointment on the Nusuk app when it comes to visiting Riyad Al Jannah, so make sure you familiarize yourself with the app. 

The caveat with making a Riyad Al Jannah appointment is that you can only have one appointment in a calendar year. Since I went in 2023 and less than a year later again in 2024, I was not able to make an appointment this time around unfortunately. 

The day before you make your appointment, make sure you locate the place where you have to go so you know exactly what to expect and where you need to be. Masjid al Nabawi is a giant square so it is really easy to find your way around with all the gate numbers and landmarks. 

If you have young kids who want to have fun, there is a great place (Quba playground) for kids to ride electric drifting bikes and even feed cats. There are also some local desi restaurants here that will satisfy your back home food cravings. Both the food and the entertainment is pretty cheap. Don’t take a taxi to get there, because it’s only a 10-15 walk from your hotel to get there.

General tips

1. Do not buy too much food. I know it is tempting since you will be more hungry, but make sure you don’t have leftovers because none of the hotels have microwaves. The hotels in 2023 didn’t have them, and the ones we went to this year also did not have them. They have refrigerators, but who really wants to eat cold food? Just buy small meals, finish them, and then buy another fresh hot meal when needed. 

2. Shop for data plans. See what your local US carrier offers you, but if you do purchase a SIM in Saudi, you can get a decent plan for around $33 per person. My wife and I each got around 60GB of data plus plenty of local talk time for that $33/person. Even after 10 days, I had more than 40GB left, so I could have gotten an even cheaper plan. Of course, make sure your phone is unlocked and has no carrier restrictions.

3. Public restrooms - you will eventually need to use the public restrooms located outside the Haramain of Makkah and Madinah. When you go down the escalators to use the restrooms, that floor will usually be packed with people trying to use the restroom. Almost all the bathrooms have a 2nd floor you can go down to, and those bathrooms are almost always empty! So make sure you go down 2 sets of escalators and use those restrooms in peace without people trying to knock on your door. This also comes in handy when you’re trying to find a US toilet seat versus a squat hole.

4. Using local taxis - I would recommend you use the Kareem app to get your local transportation to visit Masjid Quba, Mountain of Uhud, etc. They are a lot cheaper and hassle-free than the regular taxi drivers that you would have to haggle with. Plus the regular taxi drivers charge you a roundtrip rate, and that will always leave you with less time to spend at Masjid Quba for example. They will always be in a rush to get you back. With Kareem, you can choose to pay either by card or “cash in hand,” so the experience is the same without any of the hassle. After you spend time in Masjid Quba at your own leisure, you can just get another Kareem taxi back to your hotel.

5. Get your currency exchange done at the market. Do not do it at the hotel. The hotel will rip you off and give you a worse rate by far. You can easily ask around and find out where the currency exchange is located.

Hope these tips were helpful. May Allah subhana wata'aalah bless your Umrah trip!

Psychiatric drugs - you are being lied to.

Celia Ford from Vox News:

In 2023 alone, the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) poured $1.25 billion into research studying how mental illness manifests in the brain. People are prescribed more psychiatric drugs now than ever, while talking openly about depression, anxiety, and ADHD isn’t just becoming less stigmatized — online at least, it’s almost cool.

Almost cool, referring to romanticized versions of depression and mental illness that you almost wish you had. It’s just like what a Pharmacist I knew who would see the commercials for Valtrex on TV, showing an attractive girl taking a walk on the beach. His words were priceless and stick with me to this day:

“Man, that commercial is so good it makes you want to have herpes.”

Back to the article, and the lies about psychiatric medications:

Despite the popular framing of mental illnesses as being fundamentally caused by electrochemical imbalances in the brain, a pile of evidence decades in the making suggests the truth is much more complicated. It’s the biggest open secret in neuroscience — psychiatric medications often don’t work.

Just read the first paragraph of this article to see Psychiatry’s Grand Confession.

The chemical imbalance theory was mainly spread by the Pharmaceutical companies, which should not be a shock to anyone.

Do some of these medications work for patients some of the time? Of course they do, but you could say that about a lot of things. You could throw a pill at a problem, and it could work for a lot of people, but at the same time harm the other half of the population that it is not working for:

If drugs that alter chemical signaling in the brain are capable of silencing auditory hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, then brain chemistry must somehow explain mental illness, at least in part. But while medications like antidepressants and antipsychotics make many people feel a lot better, they make just as many — or more — feel the same or even worse. (Prescribing the right meds for the right condition is mostly a guess, and the wrong match can accidentally shoot someone into a manic episode, for example.)

People have been ignoring their fitra for so long, and they have been avoiding what matters most: their connection with Allah. While medicine in general does have its place, nothing can bring that peace and tranquility like the remembrance of Allah:

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ ٢٨

Those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort. (Surah Rad - 13:28)

A child’s first glance at the Ka’bah.

The moment we were waiting for had finally arrived.

It is always an emotional scene for many including myself, but I was not sure how my kids would react. The 7yr old was just not feeling well and I didn’t expect much of a reaction from her, but my 10 and 12 yr olds were old enough to appreciate what we were about to lay our eyes on.

They were also quite tired and jet-lagged over the past week of activities in Madinah, so I was not really sure how they would react when seeing the Ka’ba for the first time. 

When that moment finally came, and my two oldest children lifted their heads up to finally get a glance at the Ka’ba, they immediately started tearing up. 

Subhan Allah. 

It was a pleasant surprise for me and also made me a bit more emotional, because I realized that my wife and I are doing something right. 

We have done something right in order to make them feel emotionally attached to the house of Allah.

All those years of teaching the kids about who Allah is, His magnificent status, and how He is deserving of all worship, the Seerah lessons, etc, it all was worth it. 

It is one of my most prized memories that I will ever have when going for Umrah.

It gives me comfort in knowing that they are attached to Islam, but also it gives me the drive to keep on treading forward. 

Shaytan wants me to take it easy, but I will not take it easy. 

Au contraire mon frére.

This minor victory is a victory, but it is not a license to become complacent. 

Just like when Rocky Balboa was getting plummeted by Ivan Drago, and it seemed like the fight was over, Rocky finally threw a right hook and cut the Russian giant, shattering his confidence, and allowing Rocky to gain huge momentum.

Rocky didn’t stop at that one punch, but that punch exposed the fallible nature of the Russian giant, and made Rocky go all out for the victory in the end.

Even better, when the Prophet ﷺ freed the Arabian Peninsula from idol worship, the Muslims didn’t stop there.

They kept going and doubled down on spreading Islam!

Every victory you see from your child’s manifestation of Islam should be a motivational tool to make you double down on your quest for knowledge and teaching that knowledge to your children.

Complacency is not an option.

Complacency is never the option.
——

P.S. On a side note, not everyone reacts the same way emotionally during circumstances like this one (seeing the Ka’ba for the first time). Some people don’t feel that overwhelming emotion until after they start making tawaf, or even days later. People are different, and crying at first glance vs not crying at first glance does not necessarily mean one is more or less pious. 

Yet another reason not to be complacent.

Sexually explicit deepfakes are everywhere in high schools.

Matteo Wong from the Atlantic about the power of AI:

This power has brought with it a tremendous dark side that many experts are only now beginning to contend with: AI is being used to create nonconsensual, sexually explicit images and videos of children. And not just in a handful of cases—perhaps millions of kids nationwide have been affected in some way by the emergence of this technology, either directly victimized themselves or made aware of other students who have been.

Kids as young as 9 are being exposed to this type of material:

Today’s report joins several others documenting the alarming prevalence of AI-generated NCII. In August, Thorn, a nonprofit that monitors and combats the spread of child-sexual-abuse material (CSAM), released a report finding that 11 percent of American children ages 9 to 17 know of a peer who has used AI to generate nude images of other kids.

The amount of AI-generated CSAM is also underreported:

Although the number of official reports related to AI-generated CSAM are relatively small—roughly 5,000 tips in 2023 to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, compared with tens of millions of reports about other abusive images involving children that same year—those figures were possibly underestimated and have been growing. It’s now likely that “there are thousands of new [CSAM] images being generated a day,” David Thiel, who studies AI-generated CSAM at Stanford, told me. This summer, the U.K.-based Internet Watch Foundation found that in a one-month span in the spring, more than 3,500 examples of AI-generated CSAM were uploaded to a single dark-web forum—an increase from the 2,978 uploaded during the previous September.

Most of these victims naturally are female, which should not be a surprise.

Share this with Muslim parents (heck, all parents), who still think public schools are safe and OK, especially for their daughters.

Instagram tries to do damage control..

Alaina Demopoulos from The Guardian:

Sevey Morton first got an Instagram account when she was 10 years old. She used it to keep up with friends, but also to follow pop culture trends. Now 16, the San Diego high schooler says all the airbrushed perfection and slickly edited selfies from celebrities and influencers made her hyper-focused on her appearance, causing anxiety and body image issues.

“Being exposed to that at a very young age impacted the way I grew into myself,” Morton said. “There is a huge part of me that wishes social media did not exist.”

In the book, “Beauty sick,” practically every single girl that was interviewed was thankful that social media didn’t exist back in the 80s and 90s.

The sad thing is that if we don’t guide our kids, then they will always think about what others think about them, versus what Allah thinks about them. If our girls from an early age focus on Allah, then life will be easier for both them and their families! We sometimes think Islam makes our lives harder, but the reality is that it makes it simpler, easier, and more peaceful.

Does instagram have a solution? Sure it does, but they could have acted a lot sooner:

Jim Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense Media, an organization that promotes safe technology for children, called the timing of Meta’s announcement “transparent.

“This is basically another attempt to make a splashy announcement when the company’s feeling the heat politically, period” Steyer said. “Meta has always had these capabilities and the ability to develop new features, and they could have done this to protect young people for the last 10 years. Now that we’re in the middle of a mental health crisis among young people that’s been significantly brought on by social media platforms like Instagram, they’re acting now under pressure from lawmakers and advocates.”

Even if the social media companies are acting to protect the youth under pressure, these stop gaps are not good enough according to experts:

For Jon-Patrick Allem, an associate professor at Rutgers School of Public Health who researches social media’s effects on teens, Instagram’s new rules do not seem radical. “I read a line in the New York Times that described these rules as ‘a sweeping overhaul’,” he said. “I can’t think of a worse way of describing this. I think instead, these are slight modifications on one app that will probably do some good, but not enough good.”

So basically, Instagram is like Morphine, and Instagram with the new teen restrictions is like Suboxone. You’ll still be hooked, but you can’t get as high as you used to.