When you’ve made it to the top…of the failing bracket.
I remember considering myself to be “better” than those in my social circle, not because I was trying to be arrogant, but because people would always tell my mom that your kids are so well behaved and are really “good Muslims.”
I thought to myself that I was doing good, and that Jannah was just around the corner for me because, I mean obviously, if the adults in the room were impressed with me, than surely I was doing something right, right? How could I judge them to be wrong since they’re older and more mature than me, a measly teenager?
Subhan Allah how deluded I was!
First of all, no one has a guarantee of Jannah, and even the Prophets of Allah, may Allah be pleased with them, who did have a guarantee, were still worried about the Day of Judgment as quoted by the famous hadith of the Prophet ﷺ.
Here I was, a naive young man who thinks he’s got it all figured out. When I look back though, I might have been at the top, but I was with a group of people who were behaving and acting at the bottom. The level of Islam that was present in this social circle was extremely basic and cultural, with no real substance and very little actual Islam.
What was the criteria that defined me as a “good Muslim?”
I didn’t do drugs.
I didn’t go out and hang out with girls.
I got good grades in school.
I got awards in school for good academic performance.
That’s what made me a “good Muslim.” It wasn’t prayer, it wasn’t encouraging others to do good and forbid evil, it wasn’t trying to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. It wasn’t any of those things.
From an Islamic perspective, my actual Islam would be in question because I rarely prayed my salat and I followed horrible advice that says you can combine all your prayers at the end of the day and pray. Even then, whose going to pray all five daily prayers at the end of the day when you’re tired and could play videogames instead?
Alhumdulilah I’m in a better place now than I was in my teenage years, but the guarantee of Jannah still doesn’t exist, until I visit my grave and I am visited by the angel who gives me the glad tidings:
O pure soul, come out to the forgiveness of Allah and His pleasure!