Many kids cannot sit still in a chair.

That is because sitting in a chair is unnatural.

The default position was sitting on the ground, or standing and getting work done. 

We have been conditioned to think that sitting in this 90 degree chair is a natural way to get things done.

And the poor kid, who has been sitting on the floor, working out his back and core muscles naturally as he plays for the first years of his life now has to sit in a chair for 8 hours or more when he goes to school.

What will the child do?

Naturally he will be agitated. It does not feel normal, or comfortable to him.

What is the next step? 

In order to maintain class order, the child might be recommended to be evaluated by a physician due to his “erratic” behavior and his inability to sit still in a chair.

Next thing you know, your child has to be medicated just so he can sit still.

One problem solved by another even bigger problem.

That is at year 6 of a child's life.

What will happen with another 12 years of this type of conditioning to a child?

I remember on the first day of class, one of my teachers said something that changed the perspectives of several students:

"Right now, everyone of you has the same grade.

An A+.

100%.

It is up to you to maintain that grade throughout the semester."

The mind shift here is amazing.

You are not starting at the bottom, but you are starting at the top.

When you have a child, it is a pure innocent child that is starting with the Fitra.

At 100% devoted to Allah.

Your job as the parent is to make sure you keep it as close as possible to that 100%.

We all know good habits can lead to success if developed early on.

One of the best habits you can have for your children is good food habits.

Good food habits leads to good health, which is the best form of wealth after Iman.

Would you rather have a billion dollars and cancer, or whatever money you have now and no cancer? 🤔

We have been told for a long time that cancer is a genetic disease, but it is actually a metabolic disease.

What you eat, drink, vape, snort, etc, has a direct effect on your body.

As Muslims, we already have a habit of looking at food labels for years to make sure they don’t have gelatin or alcohol, but you should add the dirty dozen to your list as well.

Some of these ingredients are banned in Europe over serious health concerns, but are still put in our foods here in the US:

1. Potassium bromate

2. Propylparaben

3. Butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA)

4. Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)

5. Titanium dioxide

6. Seven artificial dyes

7. Aspartame

8. Azodicarbonamide (ADA)

9. Propyl gallate

10. Sodium benzoate

11. Methylene chloride, trichloroethylene and ethylene dichloride

12. Sodium nitrite:

These chemicals will make you sick, and can cause cancer, such as potassium bromate and red dye 3.

How about food preservatives like propylparaben that can lead to infertility?

Or sodium nitrite that is a known cancer causing chemical?

Your diet should change after looking at this list (mine has), but it will be better for you and your family.

It also brings new light to what Allah said in the Quran:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ كُلُوا۟ مِمَّا فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ حَلَـٰلًۭا طَيِّبًۭا وَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا۟ خُطُوَٰتِ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّۭ مُّبِينٌ ١٦٨

O humanity! Eat from what is lawful and good on the earth and do not follow Satan’s footsteps. He is truly your sworn enemy.

Surah Baqara (2:168)

We all strive for lawful food, but how about good, pure food?

We can eat donuts and processed coffee mocha latte macchiato grandes everyday and it will be halal, but will it be good for you?

One of the best ways to establish a healthy diet in your children is home-cooked meals.

The benefits of a home-cooked meal are more important than you can imagine.

The motherly love and sustenance that she can give to you and your child are beyond what you can understand, because we don’t necessarily see the benefits of prevention.

There are no visual cues of prevention.

There is no celebration for prevention.

But as Muslims, we can get rewarded even for eating a healthier diet with the right intention.

Subhan Allah, how beautiful is the affair of the believer!

You can eat healthy and live a more fulfilling life, and be worshiping Allah at the same time.

That home-cooked meal that your child loves, they can be getting rewarded by Allah by simply making the intention to eat healthy and be a stronger Muslim.

The goal is to make healthier decisions as early as possible for ourselves and our children.

Make small changes at a time, so as not to shock your bodyd (and your mood!)

Interesting perspective of the Fitra from a non-Muslim. Quoted from Hamza Tzortzis' book:

Professor Justin Barret's research in his book, Born believers: the science of children's religious belief, looked at the behaviour and claims of children. He concluded that the children believed in what he calls "natural religion." This is the idea that there is a personal Being that created the entire universe. That Being cannot be human—it must be divine, supernatural:

"Scientific research on children's developing minds and supernatural beliefs suggests that children normally and rapidly acquire minds that facilitate belief in supernatural agents.

Particularly in the first year after birth, children distinguish between agents and non-agents, understanding agents as able to move themselves in purposeful ways to pursue goals. They are keen to find agency around them, even given scant evidence. 

Not long after their first birthday, babies appear to understand that agents, but not natural forces or ordinary objects, can create order out of disorder... This tendency to see function and purpose, plus an understanding that purpose and order come from minded beings, makes children likely to see natural phenomena as intentionally created. Who is the Creator? Children know people are not good candidates. It must have been a god... children are born believers of what I call natural religion....

Everybody loves passive investments.

You put your money into a venture, and watch it grow.

Whether it is bitcoin, stocks, real estate, or other businesses, we all just love passive investments since we don’t really have to put much effort into them.

But there’s one investment that cannot be passive.

And it is your biggest investment.

Your children.

They are a trust from Allah, and we have to make sure we do our due diligence in raising them the right way.

There is no option to be passive here.

We have tried so many difficult things in life, and when we look back, we feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to Allah because He made so many things happen for us, and with relative ease. 

We have moved from our home countries to foreign countries and established a better life for ourselves.

We learned a foreign language and were able to thrive in an environment that was completely alien to us. 

We went through college, studied the hardest courses, and were able to attain the degree we wanted.

Accomplishment after accomplishment, we have been able to always push the bar.

Unfortunately when people are considering homeschooling their children, they come up with false hurdles in their path. 

Even though they are more than qualified to teach elementary grade classes with their post graduate degrees, they still doubt themselves and their ability to educate their child.

One of the biggest holdbacks parents have is:

“I Can’t Homeschool Because I don’t have the patience for it.”

While that may be true, your patience will only grow as you put yourself through tougher and tougher situations.

Didn’t you have patience when you were moving to another country forever?

Didn’t you have patience when you studied your butt off to get that degree?

Didn’t you have patience while you were pregnant?

Didn’t you have patience while you were giving birth?

Parents go through so much before the child is even born, and although it gets harder, it also gets more rewarding.

Both in this life and the next.

Seeing your child struggle through problems and then finally “figure it out,” is a moment of joy for both of you.

A moment you can share together.

Remember, when you ask Allah to make you patient, He can’t just “give” you patience.

He has to put you through situations where your ability to be patient can manifest!

If you are homeschooling your kids, they will seemingly be the underdog. 

They will be considered to be at a disadvantage since they don’t have access to the fancy classrooms, the laptops, the fancy whiteboards, and the arsenal of teachers, counselors, and therapists at hand.

Actually, after reading the book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” I’ll consider the lack of therapists an advantage.

The truth of the matter is, your kids will automatically be at an advantage because they will have the most important statistic when it comes to schooling:

Teacher to student ratio.

There will be a 1 to 1 student to teacher ratio, which cannot be achieved even with the most expensive of schools. That will automatically save a lot of time for both you and your child because most lessons can be done in a fraction of the time when you only have one student to teach. 

If you ever tried to teach 20 plus students at a time, you know for a fact that half the time is used up just to manage the classroom behavior.

You could take those 8 hours of school, and condense it to 2-3 hours. Then your child can use that extra time to do other extracurricular activities or to focus on a subject they really like.

That is a much better use of time.

Abu Huraira reported the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as saying:

"No child is born, but upon the Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)

This is a very scary hadith.

Your child starts off as a Muslim, but you as a parent can change them into a polytheist. 

Now you as a Muslim parent would say, “Of course I wouldn’t do that! I’m a Muslim, and I have firm belief in Islam. How could I lead my own child into polytheism?!”

You will not teach them polytheism, but you will let others teach your child polytheism. 

What will they learn when they are not in your care?

What will they learn from the young age of 2 weeks? 

I say 2 weeks because your child will still be learning in ways you can't imagine. They will learn by sight, by touch, by feel, by sound.

Who will be the one nurturing them after a few weeks? Will it be the mother, or will it be an institutionalized daycare worker?

Will they be hearing soothing music, or their parents reciting Qur'an/dhikr when they're in these daycares?

By the time your kid reaches school, what will they be learning? You might not know because you grew up in a Muslim country and you learned about Islam and even had Fridays off for Jummah prayers. 

But Western schools either treat Islam like a footnote, or even worse, like a disease.

Will the conversations in school revolve around Allah or a Creator, or will the conversations marvel at Science as its God?

Will children be taught proper manners and etiquettes, or will they be told to follow their desires without any care for others?

(Hint: They will be told to follow their desires.)

Do you think you have the ability to mitigate 8+hours a day of this type of indoctrination? 

5 days a week? 

An environment where religion is considered backward and blindly following society is considered progress?

The only way to mitigate this type of corruption of your child's Fitra is to be your kids' teacher.

This is a call to mothers first, and for fathers second.

Fathers need to be able to go out and provide, and mothers need to take care of the children.

Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

There is a reason why the Prophet ﷺ said that the best pleasure in this world is a righteous woman!

It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.” 

(Narrated by Muslim, 1467)

Subhan Allah!

What does a righteous wife bring to the table?

Here are some benefits just from a motherly perspective:

1. Nurture the children in her safety blanket.

2. Feed the child with healthy food (breastmilk, home cooked meals)

3. Teach the child about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, and Islam.

4. Soothe the child with her beautiful voice.

5. Having access to the best teacher a child could have. 

The benefits are endless to be honest.

The question once again is, "Will you be the one that leads your child down the path of polytheism?"

The decision is up to you.

Interesting link to an article in Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “The Divine Reality: God, Islam and The Mirage of Atheism.”

Here’s part of the abstract with the article titled:

Are Children ‘‘Intuitive Theists’’?

“Rather than being ‘‘artificialists’’ in Piagetian terms, are children ‘‘intuitive theists’’—disposed to view natural phenomena as resulting from nonhuman design? A review of research on children’s concepts of agency, imaginary companions, and understanding of artifacts suggests that by the time children are around 5 years of age, this description of them may have explanatory value and practical relevance.”

What they are describing is the uncorrupted Fitra of the child.

The natural disposition to believe in a Creator.

Something that is being corrupted more and more by the liberal world order at large, and indirectly and unknowingly, by parents.

The article is beyond my level of understanding 😆, but here's the link for you smarter people.

Crypto Cranium from MuslimSkeptic about the effects of Cocomelon and other addictive shows on kids brains:

(BTW if you can't read this because it's too much reading, you are also a victim.)

Yes, rather than engaging with their children in healthy and playful activities that could be replete with beautiful teaching moments, moral lessons, and learning experiences, modern parents are increasingly opting instead for keeping their children glued, for hours on end, to a screen that will overstimulate and damage their tiny developing brains with flashing lights and loud sounds.

As a result, the upcoming generation will suffer problems with mental development and socialization leading to ADHD and autism. A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics discovered the severe effects that fast-paced television had on children’s executive functioning:

“According to a 2011 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, just nine minutes alone of exposure to fast-paced cartoons led to diminished executive functioning in preschool-aged children. The rapid succession of stimuli overwhelms the brain’s capacity to process information effectively, resulting in decreased attention spans and difficulties with self-regulation.”

At the end of the day, what effect will this have on the Ummah? Crypto Cranium continues:

What do you think being hypnotized by meaningless flashing pixels on a screen for hours every day, instead of spending that time exploring nature, playing, socializing with other children, pondering, and asking questions, etc., does to the human soul? With their spirits and natural intuitions hampered from such an early age, will they really even care about Islam and the fight between good and evil? Or will they be comfortable throwing their time and life away just staring at screens?

The funny thing about the addictions of screens and technology is that Steve Jobs himself did not allow his kids to have an iPad.

Let that sink in for a moment.

What did he say exactly when he was asked back in 2011 about banning his kids from using an iPad?

“We don’t allow the iPad in the home. We think it’s too dangerous for them in effect,” he said when asked whether his kids love the iPad.

Despite touting the iPad as a game-changer for education, web browsing, video consumption and social interaction the year before, Jobs recognized the device’s addictive nature. He understood that once the iPad became a constant presence, resisting its allure would be a challenge.

Game, set, match.

Your kids and my kids have an easy life.

The minute they start growing older, they will realize that their lives will be full of tests.

They need to know that from you firsthand. 

They need to know that life will never be constant bliss, but it is a constant struggle. 

Just like Allah subhana wata’aalah says in the Qur’an:

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤

Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle. (Surah Salad 90:4)

The struggle is real, and guaranteed!

If the Prophet ﷺ can lose 5 out of his 6 children during his lifetime, what makes you think you will not go through severe trials? 

If the Prophet ﷺ can get hit in the mouth with an arrow like he did in the Battle of Uhud, what makes you think that you will not go through pain?

The Prophet ﷺ was the Khalil of Allah, the close friend of Allah, yet Allah subhana wata’aalah gave him some of the biggest trials!

As a parent, we have a natural tendency to solve our kids’ problems, but sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems. 

They need to learn the struggles of life, and realize that they will have to solve their problems on their own one day.

The best way to prepare them for life is to give them that controlled independence, and allow them to find solutions on their own. It will help them develop strength, perseverance, empathy, and leadership qualities.

Be their guide that they come to for advice, but at the end of the day, let them resolve issues they are qualified to resolve.

Alhamdulillah I have been to Umrah many times between 2009 and 2024. I have seen the changes and evolution of the process and I wanted to share with you all the tips and tricks I have learned in order to make your Umrah as affordable and successful as possible.

I will be discussing the process from the perspective of someone coming from the USA, and going to Umrah during off-season. Off-season is usually outside of Ramadan and Hajj seasons. 

Most people are under the impression that they have to go through a group for Umrah, but if you are from the US, you can book everything yourself and save yourself some money. At the very least, you will have more transparency in pricing by breaking down the cost yourself, and then comparing it to what a group would charge. The benefits of doing it all yourself is that you are in control of your time and not anyone else. You can plan how you want things to be done, and not pay for anything extra that you might not have time for or need, such as extra touring trips.

Make sure you have the obvious things in check first:

Celia Ford from Vox News:

In 2023 alone, the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) poured $1.25 billion into research studying how mental illness manifests in the brain. People are prescribed more psychiatric drugs now than ever, while talking openly about depression, anxiety, and ADHD isn’t just becoming less stigmatized — online at least, it’s almost cool.

Almost cool, referring to romanticized versions of depression and mental illness that you almost wish you had. It’s just like what a Pharmacist I knew who would see the commercials for Valtrex on TV, showing an attractive girl taking a walk on the beach. His words were priceless and stick with me to this day:

“Man, that commercial is so good it makes you want to have herpes.”

Back to the article, and the lies about psychiatric medications:

Despite the popular framing of mental illnesses as being fundamentally caused by electrochemical imbalances in the brain, a pile of evidence decades in the making suggests the truth is much more complicated. It’s the biggest open secret in neuroscience — psychiatric medications often don’t work.

Just read the first paragraph of this article to see Psychiatry’s Grand Confession.

The chemical imbalance theory was mainly spread by the Pharmaceutical companies, which should not be a shock to anyone.

Do some of these medications work for patients some of the time? Of course they do, but you could say that about a lot of things. You could throw a pill at a problem, and it could work for a lot of people, but at the same time harm the other half of the population that it is not working for:

If drugs that alter chemical signaling in the brain are capable of silencing auditory hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, then brain chemistry must somehow explain mental illness, at least in part. But while medications like antidepressants and antipsychotics make many people feel a lot better, they make just as many — or more — feel the same or even worse. (Prescribing the right meds for the right condition is mostly a guess, and the wrong match can accidentally shoot someone into a manic episode, for example.)

People have been ignoring their fitra for so long, and they have been avoiding what matters most: their connection with Allah. While medicine in general does have its place, nothing can bring that peace and tranquility like the remembrance of Allah:

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ ٢٨

Those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort. (Surah Rad - 13:28)

The moment we were waiting for had finally arrived.

It is always an emotional scene for many including myself, but I was not sure how my kids would react. The 7yr old was just not feeling well and I didn’t expect much of a reaction from her, but my 10 and 12 yr olds were old enough to appreciate what we were about to lay our eyes on.

They were also quite tired and jet-lagged over the past week of activities in Madinah, so I was not really sure how they would react when seeing the Ka’ba for the first time. 

When that moment finally came, and my two oldest children lifted their heads up to finally get a glance at the Ka’ba, they immediately started tearing up. 

Subhan Allah. 

It was a pleasant surprise for me and also made me a bit more emotional, because I realized that my wife and I are doing something right. 

We have done something right in order to make them feel emotionally attached to the house of Allah.

All those years of teaching the kids about who Allah is, His magnificent status, and how He is deserving of all worship, the Seerah lessons, etc, it all was worth it. 

It is one of my most prized memories that I will ever have when going for Umrah.

It gives me comfort in knowing that they are attached to Islam, but also it gives me the drive to keep on treading forward. 

Shaytan wants me to take it easy, but I will not take it easy. 

Au contraire mon frére.

This minor victory is a victory, but it is not a license to become complacent. 

Just like when Rocky Balboa was getting plummeted by Ivan Drago, and it seemed like the fight was over, Rocky finallythrew a right hook and cut the Russian giant, shattering his confidence, and allowing Rocky to gain huge momentum.

Rocky didn’t stop at that one punch, but that punch exposed the fallible nature of the Russian giant, and made Rocky go all out for the victory in the end.

Even better, when the Prophet ﷺ freed the Arabian Peninsula from idol worship, they Muslims didn’t stop there.

They kept going and doubled down on spreading Islam!

Every victory you see from your child’s manifestation of Islam should be a motivational tool to make you double down on your quest for knowledge and teaching that knowledge to your children.

Complacency is not an option.

Complacency is never the option.

----

P.S. On a side note, not everyone reacts the same way emotionally during circumstances like this one (seeing the Ka’ba for the first time). Some people don’t feel that overwhelming emotion until after they start making tawaf, or even days later. People are different, and crying at first glance vs not crying at first glance does not necessarily mean one is more or less pious. 

Yet another reason not to be complacent.