How boys and girls think differently about money.

The other day, my daughter comes up to me, very nonchalantly, and just tells me,

“Papa, I think I lost my money.”

There was no emotion or panic in her tone whatsoever. I was more in shock of how calm she was because I knew she had a decent chunk of change for a 12 year old (about $500 from gifts and Eid money).

So naturally I asked her, “how much money? Do you mean your purse?” Her purse usually has like $20-$40.

I was like there was no way she lost ALL her money.

She replies again in her casual voice, “No. I lost all my money.”

So now I’m a bit concerned and freaking out a bit inside, and we go on a mission to backtrack her steps and search her room, and eventually she finds it fairly quickly.

Once she finds it, it’s just a, “Oh there it is.” and there’s just the tiniest sign of relief on her face.

After this ordeal, I was just taken aback by her attitude and how losing the money didn’t make her freak out. When I thought about it more, it didn't really surprise me.

We have been homeschooling them since the beginning, and we have been teaching them proper Islamic principles, including how a household is run, who is in charge of what, and who brings home the “dough,” and who cooks the dough.

It’s a system that Alhumdulilah works amazingly well, and brings benefit to everyone.

My wife doesn’t have to worry about money, and naturally, my daughter has picked that up from her. Having a lot of money isn’t a priority for my daughter, and being thrifty with money is one of her qualities.

Frankly, it should be a quality for all of us.

Her carelessness with money isn’t spending too much, but just misplacing it in her room 😂.

My son, on the other hand, is the opposite. He is much more meticulous with money, always trying to find ways to earn money, mainly because he tends to spend more money. If he had lost his wad of cash, he would have turned the whole house upside down trying to find it. He would definitely have been in a more panicked state. 

The way my son and daughter react emotionally to money is part of their fitra that is inside all of us as Muslims, and something that our house has reinforced:

Men are the providers of the household and have to worry about money and providing, while women are the maintainers of the household and have to worry about caretaking and maintaining. They are different roles for men and women, but in the eyes of Allah, they are noble and equitable positions that can take you to Jannah. 

Someone who stays home isn’t a worse person because they take care of the home vs the one who has to go out and work.

If your kids grow up without the influence of social media, and without the influence of anti-Islamic lifestyles that they see all day and are fed through the school systems, they are more likely to grow up on the fitra and you will have to spend less time trying to detox their minds.

You will see the fitra flourish in the actions of your kids, from the obvious to the more subtle, like finances.