Psychiatrist sums up life from an Islamic perspective.
Heard a quote from a podcast recently, the Jordan Harbinger podcast, episode 1114:
So a hypothetical will make us feel fear in the present. It's not a hypothetical fear. It's like we feel the pain in the moment.
Yeah. And that's the way that our brain works.
But we cannot feel a hypothetical pleasure in the moment. We can have some degree of anticipation. Yeah, you can be paranoid about a car crash, but you can't imagine going to the movies and then get a rush of dopamine.
It doesn't work like that. You actually have to go to the movies.
When we are anticipating something exciting that we want to do, we don't get the pleasure and dopamine of that action.
To give another example, if you anticipating getting married in the near future, you won't get the dopamine hit just from the anticipation itself. You get that high when you actually do meet her, get married, and spend time with her.
On the other hand, if you think you won’t get married, the stress you might feel of not getting married actually does harm your body in the present.
This brings a new angle to the Islamic concept of how this world is not supposed to be Heaven. It’s a temporary place, which is actually a test for us.
And last time I checked, tests are stressful.
Don’t put all your hopes in this world. Take your portion of this world, but strive for the next world.
Heard a quote from a podcast recently, the Jordan Harbinger podcast, episode 1114:
So a hypothetical will make us feel fear in the present. It's not a hypothetical fear. It's like we feel the pain in the moment.
Yeah. And that's the way that our brain works.
But we cannot feel a hypothetical pleasure in the moment. We can have some degree of anticipation. Yeah, you can be paranoid about a car crash, but you can't imagine going to the movies and then get a rush of dopamine.
It doesn't work like that. You actually have to go to the movies.
When we are anticipating something exciting that we want to do, we don't get the pleasure and dopamine of that action.
To give another example, if you anticipating getting married in the near future, you won't get the dopamine hit just from the anticipation itself. You get that high when you actually do meet her, get married, and spend time with her.
On the other hand, if you think you won’t get married, the stress you might feel of not getting married actually does harm your body in the present.
This brings a new angle to the Islamic concept of how this world is not supposed to be Heaven. It’s a temporary place, which is actually a test for us.
And last time I checked, tests are stressful.
Don’t put all your hopes in this world. Take your portion of this world, but strive for the next world.
Treat your daughters like humans, not corpses.
There is a lot of jahiliya still in our Muslim circles.
Giving birth to a baby girl is considered a setback or a waste of time, instead of a blessing. Compound that with the mental setback daughters can have if the father feels the same way. He gives her no attention, letting her desperately seek male attention through other means, scarring her for life.
The only love she received from her father was when she was just a little child, but that slowly dwindled as she got older because now she is a woman, so she’s almost not a mahram anymore.
No affection, no hugs, no special treatment. Just the typical, “How are you doing?”
After all, when she gets married, she becomes someone else’s “daughter,” right?
Wrong.
Your daughter is still your daughter, and if things go south, she falls back under your protection, dad.
You’re not being a good Muslim by neglecting her, thinking you’re doing the right thing.
Why don’t you follow the example of the Prophet ﷺ and how he treated his daughter Fatima RA?
The Prophet ﷺ was firm when he had to be, and gentle and kind at the same time.
When the Prophet ﷺ gave his famous speech in Makkah at the declaration of Prophethood, he was telling his family to believe in Allah, and save yourselves from the hellfire. He mentioned all the tribes, and started naming individual family members, concluding with Fatima RA where he told her to, “fear Allah, because I won’t be able to save you from the fire of hell. But in this world, ask me for whatever I have and I will give it to you.”
Even in this pivotal moment of his life, he ﷺ was being strict and loving at the same time with his daughter.
He showed his love for his daughter, even in such nerve racking circumstances, and he wasn’t afraid to hide it.
In many other instances, the Prophet ﷺ would outwardly show his love to Fatima RA by standing up to greet her, kissing her forehead and even seating her in his place when she came to visit.
This, my fellow Muslim Dad, is how we treat our daughters.
There is a lot of jahiliya still in our Muslim circles.
Giving birth to a baby girl is considered a setback or a waste of time, instead of a blessing. Compound that with the mental setback daughters can have if the father feels the same way. He gives her no attention, letting her desperately seek male attention through other means, scarring her for life.
The only love she received from her father was when she was just a little child, but that slowly dwindled as she got older because now she is a woman, so she’s almost not a mahram anymore.
No affection, no hugs, no special treatment. Just the typical, “How are you doing?”
After all, when she gets married, she becomes someone else’s “daughter,” right?
Wrong.
Your daughter is still your daughter, and if things go south, she falls back under your protection, dad.
You’re not being a good Muslim by neglecting her, thinking you’re doing the right thing.
Why don’t you follow the example of the Prophet ﷺ and how he treated his daughter Fatima RA?
The Prophet ﷺ was firm when he had to be, and gentle and kind at the same time.
When the Prophet ﷺ gave his famous speech in Makkah at the declaration of Prophethood, he was telling his family to believe in Allah, and save yourselves from the hellfire. He mentioned all the tribes, and started naming individual family members, concluding with Fatima RA where he told her to, “fear Allah, because I won’t be able to save you from the fire of hell. But in this world, ask me for whatever I have and I will give it to you.”
Even in this pivotal moment of his life, he ﷺ was being strict and loving at the same time with his daughter.
He showed his love for his daughter, even in such nerve racking circumstances, and he wasn’t afraid to hide it.
In many other instances, the Prophet ﷺ would outwardly show his love to Fatima RA by standing up to greet her, kissing her forehead and even seating her in his place when she came to visit.
This, my fellow Muslim Dad, is how we treat our daughters.
The one coping mechanism we need the most, but we use the least.
People cope with their problems in many ways:
Drugs
Alcohol
Stress eating
Yelling
Hurting their families
Excess video game consumption
Netflix
Porn
But there's one coping mechanism that people are moving more and more away from:
Prayer.
In in particular:
Salah.
You can't even begin to realize how important Salah is.
Allah is not in need of our Salah, but we are desperately in need of it.
What better feeling can we have when we ask Allah, the Creator of the Heavens and Earth, the One who is able to change everything for you, for our needs?
Never underestimate the importance of Salah!
Just imagine what can happen to us if we substitute any or all of our coping mechanisms with Salah.
Not only will it save your life, it will save your soul.
People cope with their problems in many ways:
Drugs
Alcohol
Stress eating
Yelling
Hurting their families
Excess video game consumption
Netflix
Porn
But there's one coping mechanism that people are moving more and more away from:
Prayer.
In in particular:
Salah.
You can't even begin to realize how important Salah is.
Allah is not in need of our Salah, but we are desperately in need of it.
What better feeling can we have when we ask Allah, the Creator of the Heavens and Earth, the One who is able to change everything for you, for our needs?
Never underestimate the importance of Salah!
Just imagine what can happen to us if we substitute any or all of our coping mechanisms with Salah.
Not only will it save your life, it will save your soul.
Rich vs poor people…
Hot take:
Poor people buy their kids screens.
Rich people...don't.
I didn't define what rich and poor are, but I'll let you think about it.
Hot take:
Poor people buy their kids screens.
Rich people...don't.
I didn't define what rich and poor are, but I'll let you think about it.
Don’t wait until they’re older…
When your kids are young, they think you know everything.
They think you’re infallible.
Of course we are not infallible, but this is the time to capitalize on spending time and investing in them with your presence and your knowledge, however little it may be.
Teach them even one ayah, as narrated by the Prophet ﷺ.
They will soak in whatever you say and might even practice it better than you!
When your kids are young, they think you know everything.
They think you’re infallible.
Of course we are not infallible, but this is the time to capitalize on spending time and investing in them with your presence and your knowledge, however little it may be.
Teach them even one ayah, as narrated by the Prophet ﷺ.
They will soak in whatever you say and might even practice it better than you!
Your children are wealth.
People teasing me in a joking manner that I will need a second part time job because I’m having a 4th kid.
That’s the mindset of someone who sees children as a liability, instead of seeing children as wealth and as an asset.
Alhumdulilah I’ve been able to put myself and my family in a position where I live within my means, and can provide for my family comfortably.
The secret isn’t hard.
Bust your butt, spend less than what you make, save and invest, and put your trust in Allah.
People teasing me in a joking manner that I will need a second part time job because I’m having a 4th kid.
That’s the mindset of someone who sees children as a liability, instead of seeing children as wealth and as an asset.
Alhumdulilah I’ve been able to put myself and my family in a position where I live within my means, and can provide for my family comfortably.
The secret isn’t hard.
Bust your butt, spend less than what you make, save and invest, and put your trust in Allah.