Doubting your ability to homeschool?
We have tried so many difficult things in life, and when we look back, we feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to Allah because He made so many things happen for us, and with relative ease.
We have moved from our home countries to foreign countries and established a better life for ourselves.
We learned a foreign language and were able to thrive in an environment that was completely alien to us.
We went through college, studied the hardest courses, and were able to attain the degree we wanted.
Accomplishment after accomplishment, we have been able to always push the bar.
Unfortunately when people are considering homeschooling their children, they come up with false hurdles in their path.
Even though they are more than qualified to teach elementary grade classes with their post graduate degrees, they still doubt themselves and their ability to educate their child.
One of the biggest holdbacks parents have is:
“I Can’t Homeschool Because I don’t have the patience for it.”
While that may be true, your patience will only grow as you put yourself through tougher and tougher situations.
Didn’t you have patience when you were moving to another country forever?
Didn’t you have patience when you studied your butt off to get that degree?
Didn’t you have patience while you were pregnant?
Didn’t you have patience while you were giving birth?
Parents go through so much before the child is even born, and although it gets harder, it also gets more rewarding.
Both in this life and the next.
Seeing your child struggle through problems and then finally “figure it out,” is a moment of joy for both of you.
A moment you can share together.
Remember, when you ask Allah to make you patient, He can’t just “give” you patience.
He has to put you through situations where your ability to be patient can manifest!
We have tried so many difficult things in life, and when we look back, we feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness to Allah because He made so many things happen for us, and with relative ease.
We have moved from our home countries to foreign countries and established a better life for ourselves.
We learned a foreign language and were able to thrive in an environment that was completely alien to us.
We went through college, studied the hardest courses, and were able to attain the degree we wanted.
Accomplishment after accomplishment, we have been able to always push the bar.
Unfortunately when people are considering homeschooling their children, they come up with false hurdles in their path.
Even though they are more than qualified to teach elementary grade classes with their post graduate degrees, they still doubt themselves and their ability to educate their child.
One of the biggest holdbacks parents have is:
“I Can’t Homeschool Because I don’t have the patience for it.”
While that may be true, your patience will only grow as you put yourself through tougher and tougher situations.
Didn’t you have patience when you were moving to another country forever?
Didn’t you have patience when you studied your butt off to get that degree?
Didn’t you have patience while you were pregnant?
Didn’t you have patience while you were giving birth?
Parents go through so much before the child is even born, and although it gets harder, it also gets more rewarding.
Both in this life and the next.
Seeing your child struggle through problems and then finally “figure it out,” is a moment of joy for both of you.
A moment you can share together.
Remember, when you ask Allah to make you patient, He can’t just “give” you patience.
He has to put you through situations where your ability to be patient can manifest!
The biggest time saver as a homeschooler.
If you are homeschooling your kids, they will seemingly be the underdog.
They will be considered to be at a disadvantage since they don’t have access to the fancy classrooms, the laptops, the fancy whiteboards, and the arsenal of teachers, counselors, and therapists at hand.
Actually, after reading the book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” I’ll consider the lack of therapists an advantage.
The truth of the matter is, your kids will automatically be at an advantage because they will have the most important statistic when it comes to schooling:
Teacher to student ratio.
There will be a 1 to 1 student to teacher ratio, which cannot be achieved even with the most expensive of schools. That will automatically save a lot of time for both you and your child because most lessons can be done in a fraction of the time when you only have one student to teach.
If you ever tried to teach 20 plus students at a time, you know for a fact that half the time is used up just to manage the classroom behavior.
You could take those 8 hours of school, and condense it to 2-3 hours. Then your child can use that extra time to do other extracurricular activities or to focus on a subject they really like.
That is a much better use of time.
If you are homeschooling your kids, they will seemingly be the underdog.
They will be considered to be at a disadvantage since they don’t have access to the fancy classrooms, the laptops, the fancy whiteboards, and the arsenal of teachers, counselors, and therapists at hand.
Actually, after reading the book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” I’ll consider the lack of therapists an advantage.
The truth of the matter is, your kids will automatically be at an advantage because they will have the most important statistic when it comes to schooling:
Teacher to student ratio.
There will be a 1 to 1 student to teacher ratio, which cannot be achieved even with the most expensive of schools. That will automatically save a lot of time for both you and your child because most lessons can be done in a fraction of the time when you only have one student to teach.
If you ever tried to teach 20 plus students at a time, you know for a fact that half the time is used up just to manage the classroom behavior.
You could take those 8 hours of school, and condense it to 2-3 hours. Then your child can use that extra time to do other extracurricular activities or to focus on a subject they really like.
That is a much better use of time.
Are you leading your children down a path of disbelief?
Abu Huraira reported the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as saying:
"No child is born, but upon the Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)
This is a very scary hadith.
Your child starts off as a Muslim, but you as a parent can change them into a polytheist.
Now you as a Muslim parent would say, “Of course I wouldn’t do that! I’m a Muslim, and I have firm belief in Islam. How could I lead my own child into polytheism?!”
You will not teach them polytheism, but you will let others teach your child polytheism.
What will they learn when they are not in your care?
What will they learn from the young age of 2 weeks?
I say 2 weeks because your child will still be learning in ways you can't imagine. They will learn by sight, by touch, by feel, by sound.
Who will be the one nurturing them after a few weeks? Will it be the mother, or will it be an institutionalized daycare worker?
Will they be hearing soothing music, or their parents reciting Qur'an/dhikr when they're in these daycares?
By the time your kid reaches school, what will they be learning? You might not know because you grew up in a Muslim country and you learned about Islam and even had Fridays off for Jummah prayers.
But Western schools either treat Islam like a footnote, or even worse, like a disease.
Will the conversations in school revolve around Allah or a Creator, or will the conversations marvel at Science as its God?
Will children be taught proper manners and etiquettes, or will they be told to follow their desires without any care for others?
(Hint: They will be told to follow their desires.)
Do you think you have the ability to mitigate 8+hours a day of this type of indoctrination?
5 days a week?
An environment where religion is considered backward and blindly following society is considered progress?
The only way to mitigate this type of corruption of your child's Fitra is to be your kids' teacher.
This is a call to mothers first, and for fathers second.
Fathers need to be able to go out and provide, and mothers need to take care of the children.
Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
There is a reason why the Prophet ﷺ said that the best pleasure in this world is a righteous woman!
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1467)
Subhan Allah!
What does a righteous wife bring to the table?
Here are some benefits just from a motherly perspective:
Nurture the children in her safety blanket.
Feed the child with healthy food (breastmilk, home cooked meals)
Teach the child about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, and Islam.
Soothe the child with her beautiful voice.
Having access to the best teacher a child could have.
The benefits are endless to be honest.
The question once again is, "Will you be the one that leads your child down the path of polytheism?"
The decision is up to you.
Abu Huraira reported the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as saying:
"No child is born, but upon the Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist." (Sahih Muslim)
This is a very scary hadith.
Your child starts off as a Muslim, but you as a parent can change them into a polytheist.
Now you as a Muslim parent would say, “Of course I wouldn’t do that! I’m a Muslim, and I have firm belief in Islam. How could I lead my own child into polytheism?!”
You will not teach them polytheism, but you will let others teach your child polytheism.
What will they learn when they are not in your care?
What will they learn from the young age of 2 weeks?
I say 2 weeks because your child will still be learning in ways you can't imagine. They will learn by sight, by touch, by feel, by sound.
Who will be the one nurturing them after a few weeks? Will it be the mother, or will it be an institutionalized daycare worker?
Will they be hearing soothing music, or their parents reciting Qur'an/dhikr when they're in these daycares?
By the time your kid reaches school, what will they be learning? You might not know because you grew up in a Muslim country and you learned about Islam and even had Fridays off for Jummah prayers.
But Western schools either treat Islam like a footnote, or even worse, like a disease.
Will the conversations in school revolve around Allah or a Creator, or will the conversations marvel at Science as its God?
Will children be taught proper manners and etiquettes, or will they be told to follow their desires without any care for others?
(Hint: They will be told to follow their desires.)
Do you think you have the ability to mitigate 8+hours a day of this type of indoctrination?
5 days a week?
An environment where religion is considered backward and blindly following society is considered progress?
The only way to mitigate this type of corruption of your child's Fitra is to be your kids' teacher.
This is a call to mothers first, and for fathers second.
Fathers need to be able to go out and provide, and mothers need to take care of the children.
Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
There is a reason why the Prophet ﷺ said that the best pleasure in this world is a righteous woman!
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1467)
Subhan Allah!
What does a righteous wife bring to the table?
Here are some benefits just from a motherly perspective:
Nurture the children in her safety blanket.
Feed the child with healthy food (breastmilk, home cooked meals)
Teach the child about Allah, the Prophet ﷺ, and Islam.
Soothe the child with her beautiful voice.
Having access to the best teacher a child could have.
The benefits are endless to be honest.
The question once again is, "Will you be the one that leads your child down the path of polytheism?"
The decision is up to you.
Are children born knowing their Creator?
Interesting link to an article in Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “The Divine Reality: God, Islam and The Mirage of Atheism.”
Here’s part of the abstract with the article titled:
Are Children ‘‘Intuitive Theists’’?
“Rather than being ‘‘artificialists’’ in Piagetian terms, are children ‘‘intuitive theists’’—disposed to view natural phenomena as resulting from nonhuman design? A review of research on children’s concepts of agency, imaginary companions, and understanding of artifacts suggests that by the time children are around 5 years of age, this description of them may have explanatory value and practical relevance.”
What they are describing is the uncorrupted Fitra of the child.
The natural disposition to believe in a Creator.
Something that is being corrupted more and more by the liberal world order at large, and indirectly and unknowingly, by parents.
The article is beyond my level of understanding 😆, but here's the link for you smarter people.
Interesting link to an article in Hamza Tzortzis’ book, “The Divine Reality: God, Islam and The Mirage of Atheism.”
Here’s part of the abstract with the article titled:
Are Children ‘‘Intuitive Theists’’?
“Rather than being ‘‘artificialists’’ in Piagetian terms, are children ‘‘intuitive theists’’—disposed to view natural phenomena as resulting from nonhuman design? A review of research on children’s concepts of agency, imaginary companions, and understanding of artifacts suggests that by the time children are around 5 years of age, this description of them may have explanatory value and practical relevance.”
What they are describing is the uncorrupted Fitra of the child.
The natural disposition to believe in a Creator.
Something that is being corrupted more and more by the liberal world order at large, and indirectly and unknowingly, by parents.
The article is beyond my level of understanding 😆, but here's the link for you smarter people.
Are you destroying your child’s brain?
Crypto Cranium from MuslimSkeptic about the effects of Cocomelon and other addictive shows on kids brains:
(BTW if you can't read this because it's too much reading, you are also a victim.)
Yes, rather than engaging with their children in healthy and playful activities that could be replete with beautiful teaching moments, moral lessons, and learning experiences, modern parents are increasingly opting instead for keeping their children glued, for hours on end, to a screen that will overstimulate and damage their tiny developing brains with flashing lights and loud sounds.
As a result, the upcoming generation will suffer problems with mental development and socialization leading to ADHD and autism. A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics discovered the severe effects that fast-paced television had on children’s executive functioning:
“According to a 2011 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, just nine minutes alone of exposure to fast-paced cartoons led to diminished executive functioning in preschool-aged children. The rapid succession of stimuli overwhelms the brain’s capacity to process information effectively, resulting in decreased attention spans and difficulties with self-regulation.”
At the end of the day, what effect will this have on the Ummah? Crypto Cranium continues:
What do you think being hypnotized by meaningless flashing pixels on a screen for hours every day, instead of spending that time exploring nature, playing, socializing with other children, pondering, and asking questions, etc., does to the human soul? With their spirits and natural intuitions hampered from such an early age, will they really even care about Islam and the fight between good and evil? Or will they be comfortable throwing their time and life away just staring at screens?
The funny thing about the addictions of screens and technology is that Steve Jobs himself did not allow his kids to have an iPad.
Let that sink in for a moment.
What did he say exactly when he was asked back in 2011 about banning his kids from using an iPad?
“We don’t allow the iPad in the home. We think it’s too dangerous for them in effect,” he said when asked whether his kids love the iPad.
Despite touting the iPad as a game-changer for education, web browsing, video consumption and social interaction the year before, Jobs recognized the device’s addictive nature. He understood that once the iPad became a constant presence, resisting its allure would be a challenge.
Game, set, match.
Crypto Cranium from MuslimSkeptic about the effects of Cocomelon and other addictive shows on kids brains:
(BTW if you can't read this because it's too much reading, you are also a victim.)
Yes, rather than engaging with their children in healthy and playful activities that could be replete with beautiful teaching moments, moral lessons, and learning experiences, modern parents are increasingly opting instead for keeping their children glued, for hours on end, to a screen that will overstimulate and damage their tiny developing brains with flashing lights and loud sounds.
As a result, the upcoming generation will suffer problems with mental development and socialization leading to ADHD and autism. A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics discovered the severe effects that fast-paced television had on children’s executive functioning:
“According to a 2011 study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, just nine minutes alone of exposure to fast-paced cartoons led to diminished executive functioning in preschool-aged children. The rapid succession of stimuli overwhelms the brain’s capacity to process information effectively, resulting in decreased attention spans and difficulties with self-regulation.”
At the end of the day, what effect will this have on the Ummah? Crypto Cranium continues:
What do you think being hypnotized by meaningless flashing pixels on a screen for hours every day, instead of spending that time exploring nature, playing, socializing with other children, pondering, and asking questions, etc., does to the human soul? With their spirits and natural intuitions hampered from such an early age, will they really even care about Islam and the fight between good and evil? Or will they be comfortable throwing their time and life away just staring at screens?
The funny thing about the addictions of screens and technology is that Steve Jobs himself did not allow his kids to have an iPad.
Let that sink in for a moment.
What did he say exactly when he was asked back in 2011 about banning his kids from using an iPad?
“We don’t allow the iPad in the home. We think it’s too dangerous for them in effect,” he said when asked whether his kids love the iPad.
Despite touting the iPad as a game-changer for education, web browsing, video consumption and social interaction the year before, Jobs recognized the device’s addictive nature. He understood that once the iPad became a constant presence, resisting its allure would be a challenge.
Game, set, match.
You will be tested.
Your kids and my kids have an easy life.
The minute they start growing older, they will realize that their lives will be full of tests.
They need to know that from you firsthand.
They need to know that life will never be constant bliss, but it is a constant struggle.
Just like Allah subhana wata’aalah says in the Qur’an:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle. (Surah Salad 90:4)
The struggle is real, and guaranteed!
If the Prophet ﷺ can lose 5 out of his 6 children during his lifetime, what makes you think you will not go through severe trials?
If the Prophet ﷺ can get hit in the mouth with an arrow like he did in the Battle of Uhud, what makes you think that you will not go through pain?
The Prophet ﷺ was the Khalil of Allah, the close friend of Allah, yet Allah subhana wata’aalah gave him some of the biggest trials!
As a parent, we have a natural tendency to solve our kids’ problems, but sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems.
They need to learn the struggles of life, and realize that they will have to solve their problems on their own one day.
The best way to prepare them for life is to give them that controlled independence, and allow them to find solutions on their own. It will help them develop strength, perseverance, empathy, and leadership qualities.
Be their guide that they come to for advice, but at the end of the day, let them resolve issues they are qualified to resolve.
Your kids and my kids have an easy life.
The minute they start growing older, they will realize that their lives will be full of tests.
They need to know that from you firsthand.
They need to know that life will never be constant bliss, but it is a constant struggle.
Just like Allah subhana wata’aalah says in the Qur’an:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle. (Surah Salad 90:4)
The struggle is real, and guaranteed!
If the Prophet ﷺ can lose 5 out of his 6 children during his lifetime, what makes you think you will not go through severe trials?
If the Prophet ﷺ can get hit in the mouth with an arrow like he did in the Battle of Uhud, what makes you think that you will not go through pain?
The Prophet ﷺ was the Khalil of Allah, the close friend of Allah, yet Allah subhana wata’aalah gave him some of the biggest trials!
As a parent, we have a natural tendency to solve our kids’ problems, but sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems.
They need to learn the struggles of life, and realize that they will have to solve their problems on their own one day.
The best way to prepare them for life is to give them that controlled independence, and allow them to find solutions on their own. It will help them develop strength, perseverance, empathy, and leadership qualities.
Be their guide that they come to for advice, but at the end of the day, let them resolve issues they are qualified to resolve.
A logistical guide to doing Umrah by yourself.
Alhamdulillah I have been to Umrah many times between 2009 and 2024. I have seen the changes and evolution of the process and I wanted to share with you all the tips and tricks I have learned in order to make your Umrah as affordable and successful as possible.
I will be discussing the process from the perspective of someone coming from the USA, and going to Umrah during off-season. Off-season is usually outside of Ramadan and Hajj seasons.
Most people are under the impression that they have to go through a group for Umrah, but if you are from the US, you can book everything yourself and save yourself some money. At the very least, you will have more transparency in pricing by breaking down the cost yourself, and then comparing it to what a group would charge. The benefits of doing it all yourself is that you are in control of your time and not anyone else. You can plan how you want things to be done, and not pay for anything extra that you might not have time for or need, such as extra touring trips.
Make sure you have the obvious things in check first:
Alhamdulillah I have been to Umrah many times between 2009 and 2024. I have seen the changes and evolution of the process and I wanted to share with you all the tips and tricks I have learned in order to make your Umrah as affordable and successful as possible.
I will be discussing the process from the perspective of someone coming from the USA, and going to Umrah during off-season. Off-season is usually outside of Ramadan and Hajj seasons.
Most people are under the impression that they have to go through a group for Umrah, but if you are from the US, you can book everything yourself and save yourself some money. At the very least, you will have more transparency in pricing by breaking down the cost yourself, and then comparing it to what a group would charge. The benefits of doing it all yourself is that you are in control of your time and not anyone else. You can plan how you want things to be done, and not pay for anything extra that you might not have time for or need, such as extra touring trips.
Make sure you have the obvious things in check first:
Passport - it should have at least 6 months of validity before travelling. Not my rules.
Tickets - book your flight like you would any other flight from your airline of choice. You will need these dates for your Visa since they will ask you what day you plan on arriving and leaving.
Visa - this is very simple and you can easily do it online. Once you have filled out the application, you will get your Visa via email in literally 10 minutes. They do ask for a Passport sized photo, but the lighting and crop doesn’t have to be perfect. I had a clear background in my photo, but the lighting was a little bit off yet they still accepted my photo for the Visa. Any smartphone that can take a clear photo will do. Do not spend $20 having your photo “professionally” taken at CVS or Walgreens. You will also be able to scale the image on the Visa website, so you don’t have to worry about the zoom of your photos. Worst case scenario, you take another photo at home and upload it if you zoomed in or out too much.
The Visa website is a bit glitchy, but once you get your Visa you don’t have to worry about interacting with the site again. The cost for the Visa and obligatory health insurance was $107. You will get your Visa via email, but you can also login to the website and print your Visa on the main page.
If you have multiple family members, you can set up one account on the website, and apply for multiple people under your account. I did that for my wife and 3 kids, and all their visas were listed on the main landing page once I logged in.
Make sure you select the travel Visa and not the Umrah visa. The travel Visa gives you a whole calendar year to enter multiple times. Sure you don’t get a free zamzam bottle if you would have chosen the Umrah visa, but you can easily purchase a zamzam bottle for like $4. Selecting the Umrah visa might also limit the length of your Visa.
Before leaving
At least a month before your trip, you should start conditioning your body for the significant amount of walking that you will be doing. You can easily hit 15,000 steps per day in Makkah and Madinah without even realizing it, so make sure you have a basic fitness routine that involves a lot of walking before you leave.
You do not require the meningitis vaccine with the travel Visa. I have never selected the Umrah Visa option, so not sure if that would require you to have the meningitis vaccine. I would assume you would not need it. No one has checked my meningitis vaccine status in the last 2 years that I have gone for Umrah.
Make sure you pack your medications. Don’t overpack, but have enough of the basics that you might need if you tend to get sick when going overseas. Worst case scenario, there are plenty of pharmacies there that you can use to replenish your stock. Medications are about the same or even a bit more expensive than buying them from the USA.
A good, thick, cotton Egyptian made ihram costs about 100SAR in Saudi (about $27), so it might be cheaper to get it from there (assuming you’re going to Madinah first).
Buy all your non-scented soaps and non-scented deodorants before hand so you’re not wasting time in the Holy lands looking for these items. You want to maximize your time there for worship. A quick search on Amazon for “unscented soap bar,” and “unscented deodorant,” will get you what you need.
Stick to one authority when it comes to the rules of Umrah so you don’t get confused about what breaks your Umrah and what minor violations require paying a penalty (fidya). Don’t try to learn the Fiqh of Umrah on the fly! Here is a document I made up and used based on information from islamqa.info and also based on lectures from Shuyukh who discuss what penalties require a fidya.
Don’t overpack your suitcases, especially if you plan on buying gifts/dates to bring back to the US. Personally I pack light and I don’t buy gifts for people, and I don’t expect gifts from people either when they go to Umrah. Just focus on worship and keeping yourself healthy and hydrated.
Book your ground transportation from a website like umrahtaxiservice.com. Very simple to book your transportation between airport to hotel, Makkah to Madinah, etc. Initially you only have to make one reservation from your airport to hotel of choice. Afterwards, you can make appointments for whenever you want to depart to Makkah or Madinah or back to your airport.
(No I don’t get any commission from them, and no I don’t have any stake in this company.)
Most communication will take place thru WhatsApp. Even if your Urdu or Arabic sucks, they will be able to communicate in English as best as they can. At the end of the day, they just need to know where to pick you up from, and what hotel/airport to drop you off to.
Make sure you have physical copies of your Visas and not just digital copies. You will have to show your Visa many times during your trip, so keep it handy at all times.
Makkah or Madinah first?
This really comes down to personal preference. In the beginning you are at the peak of your health, so it might be best to do Umrah first. Makkah is more hectic overall than Madinah, so this would be what I would opt for in the future. I did Madinah first in 2023 and then Makkah second, which was not bad since I was by myself.
This past month we did the same thing, but I ended up getting sick and so did my kids by the time we got to Makkah, so it would have been better for us as a family to go to Makkah first, do Umrah at our maximum health, and then go to Madinah. Being sick in Madinah is always better than being sick in Makkah because Madinah is just more peaceful and getting around is a lot less stressful.
Tips for Makkah
The authorities in Makkah only allow you to go to the ground floor to do tawaf if you are performing Umrah. The way they check this is not through the Nusuk app, but they just do a visual check to make sure you are wearing an ihram. If you are wearing ihram, you get to go to the ground floor to make tawaf. If you have already performed Umrah, and are wearing street clothes, you cannot go to the ground floor and make tawaf unfortunately. The only tawaf you can do is on the 2nd floor, and you get a very, very, limited view of the Ka’bah itself.
There is a way around this though, and it might be controversial, but there’s nothing haram about it. All you have to do is wear your ihram without being in the state of ihram, and you can go to the first floor and make tawaf the way you were meant to. You can watch this fatwa if you have any doubts about whether or not you should do this.
If you have a son who is also doing Umrah, keep his ihram clean after doing your actual Umrah since he would need to wear his ihram again just like you in order to gain access to the ground floor for tawaf. My son is 10 years old, and the cleaning crew told me that if he wears street clothes, they won’t let him in to make the ground floor tawaf.
For this reason alone, it is not a bad idea to have an extra ihram with you because your first one could get quite dirty and it would take at least a day to get it washed. You will already be pretty tired, and it is just easier to have a second ihram that you use after your Umrah in order to gain access to the ground floor for tawaf.
While you are on the ground floor, make sure you look at the Ka’bah a lot because this is the only place where you can look at it in its full glory. This is the best time to reflect upon the house of Allah and to increase your faith, knowing that this is the place where Ibrahim AS raised the foundations of the original house of worship. This is also your only time to have an opportunity to touch the Yemeni corner and to kiss the Black Stone.
The roof does have access for tawaf, but you can’t see the ka’bah at all like you could in the past as the edges of the roof are blocked off for construction. The second floor is the same way, where the inner sections of the second floor are blocked off for construction and you can barely see glimpses of the Ka’bah.
Tips for Madinah
Madinah is a lot more organized and peaceful. If you do go to Makkah first, you don’t have to hoard zamzam water because Madinah also has plenty of zamzam available. In Madinah you do have to make an appointment on the Nusuk app when it comes to visiting Riyad Al Jannah, so make sure you familiarize yourself with the app.
The caveat with making a Riyad Al Jannah appointment is that you can only have one appointment in a calendar year. Since I went in 2023 and less than a year later again in 2024, I was not able to make an appointment this time around unfortunately.
The day before you make your appointment, make sure you locate the place where you have to go so you know exactly what to expect and where you need to be. Masjid al Nabawi is a giant square so it is really easy to find your way around with all the gate numbers and landmarks.
If you have young kids who want to have fun, there is a great place (Quba playground) for kids to ride electric drifting bikes and even feed cats. There are also some local desi restaurants here that will satisfy your back home food cravings. Both the food and the entertainment is pretty cheap. Don’t take a taxi to get there, because it’s only a 10-15 walk from your hotel to get there.
General tips
Do not buy too much food. I know it is tempting since you will be more hungry, but make sure you don’t have leftovers because none of the hotels have microwaves. The hotels in 2023 didn’t have them, and the ones we went to this year also did not have them. They have refrigerators, but who really wants to eat cold food? Just buy small meals, finish them, and then buy another fresh hot meal when needed.
Shop for data plans. See what your local US carrier offers you, but if you do purchase a SIM in Saudi, you can get a decent plan for around $33 per person. My wife and I each got around 60GB of data plus plenty of local talk time for that $33/person. Even after 10 days, I had more than 40GB left, so I could have gotten an even cheaper plan. Of course, make sure your phone is unlocked and has no carrier restrictions.
Public restrooms - you will eventually need to use the public restrooms located outside the Haramain of Makkah and Madinah. When you go down the escalators to use the restrooms, that floor will usually be packed with people trying to use the restroom. Almost all the bathrooms have a 2nd floor you can go down to, and those bathrooms are almost always empty! So make sure you go down 2 sets of escalators and use those restrooms in peace without people trying to knock on your door. This also comes in handy when you’re trying to find a US toilet seat versus a squat hole.
Using local taxis - I would recommend you use the Kareem app to get your local transportation to visit Masjid Quba, Mountain of Uhud, etc. They are a lot cheaper and hassle-free than the regular taxi drivers that you would have to haggle with. Plus the regular taxi drivers charge you a roundtrip rate, and that will always leave you with less time to spend at Masjid Quba for example. They will always be in a rush to get you back. With Kareem, you can choose to pay either by card or “cash in hand,” so the experience is the same without any of the hassle. After you spend time in Masjid Quba at your own leisure, you can just get another Kareem taxi back to your hotel.
Get your currency exchange done at the market. Do not do it at the hotel. The hotel will rip you off and give you a worse rate by far. You can easily ask around and find out where the currency exchange is located.
Hope these tips were helpful. May Allah subhana wata'aalah bless your Umrah trip!
Psychiatric drugs - you are being lied to.
Celia Ford from Vox News:
In 2023 alone, the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) poured $1.25 billion into research studying how mental illness manifests in the brain. People are prescribed more psychiatric drugs now than ever, while talking openly about depression, anxiety, and ADHD isn’t just becoming less stigmatized — online at least, it’s almost cool.
Almost cool, referring to romanticized versions of depression and mental illness that you almost wish you had. It’s just like what a Pharmacist I knew who would see the commercials for Valtrex on TV, showing an attractive girl taking a walk on the beach. His words were priceless and stick with me to this day:
“Man, that commercial is so good it makes you want to have herpes.”
Back to the article, and the lies about psychiatric medications:
Despite the popular framing of mental illnesses as being fundamentally caused by electrochemical imbalances in the brain, a pile of evidence decades in the making suggests the truth is much more complicated. It’s the biggest open secret in neuroscience — psychiatric medications often don’t work.
Just read the first paragraph of this article to see Psychiatry’s Grand Confession.
The chemical imbalance theory was mainly spread by the Pharmaceutical companies, which should not be a shock to anyone.
Do some of these medications work for patients some of the time? Of course they do, but you could say that about a lot of things. You could throw a pill at a problem, and it could work for a lot of people, but at the same time harm the other half of the population that it is not working for:
If drugs that alter chemical signaling in the brain are capable of silencing auditory hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, then brain chemistry must somehow explain mental illness, at least in part. But while medications like antidepressants and antipsychotics make many people feel a lot better, they make just as many — or more — feel the same or even worse. (Prescribing the right meds for the right condition is mostly a guess, and the wrong match can accidentally shoot someone into a manic episode, for example.)
People have been ignoring their fitra for so long, and they have been avoiding what matters most: their connection with Allah. While medicine in general does have its place, nothing can bring that peace and tranquility like the remembrance of Allah:
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ ٢٨
Those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort. (Surah Rad - 13:28)
Celia Ford from Vox News:
In 2023 alone, the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) poured $1.25 billion into research studying how mental illness manifests in the brain. People are prescribed more psychiatric drugs now than ever, while talking openly about depression, anxiety, and ADHD isn’t just becoming less stigmatized — online at least, it’s almost cool.
Almost cool, referring to romanticized versions of depression and mental illness that you almost wish you had. It’s just like what a Pharmacist I knew who would see the commercials for Valtrex on TV, showing an attractive girl taking a walk on the beach. His words were priceless and stick with me to this day:
“Man, that commercial is so good it makes you want to have herpes.”
Back to the article, and the lies about psychiatric medications:
Despite the popular framing of mental illnesses as being fundamentally caused by electrochemical imbalances in the brain, a pile of evidence decades in the making suggests the truth is much more complicated. It’s the biggest open secret in neuroscience — psychiatric medications often don’t work.
Just read the first paragraph of this article to see Psychiatry’s Grand Confession.
The chemical imbalance theory was mainly spread by the Pharmaceutical companies, which should not be a shock to anyone.
Do some of these medications work for patients some of the time? Of course they do, but you could say that about a lot of things. You could throw a pill at a problem, and it could work for a lot of people, but at the same time harm the other half of the population that it is not working for:
If drugs that alter chemical signaling in the brain are capable of silencing auditory hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, then brain chemistry must somehow explain mental illness, at least in part. But while medications like antidepressants and antipsychotics make many people feel a lot better, they make just as many — or more — feel the same or even worse. (Prescribing the right meds for the right condition is mostly a guess, and the wrong match can accidentally shoot someone into a manic episode, for example.)
People have been ignoring their fitra for so long, and they have been avoiding what matters most: their connection with Allah. While medicine in general does have its place, nothing can bring that peace and tranquility like the remembrance of Allah:
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ ٢٨
Those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort. (Surah Rad - 13:28)
A child’s first glance at the Ka’bah.
The moment we were waiting for had finally arrived.
It is always an emotional scene for many including myself, but I was not sure how my kids would react. The 7yr old was just not feeling well and I didn’t expect much of a reaction from her, but my 10 and 12 yr olds were old enough to appreciate what we were about to lay our eyes on.
They were also quite tired and jet-lagged over the past week of activities in Madinah, so I was not really sure how they would react when seeing the Ka’ba for the first time.
When that moment finally came, and my two oldest children lifted their heads up to finally get a glance at the Ka’ba, they immediately started tearing up.
Subhan Allah.
It was a pleasant surprise for me and also made me a bit more emotional, because I realized that my wife and I are doing something right.
We have done something right in order to make them feel emotionally attached to the house of Allah.
All those years of teaching the kids about who Allah is, His magnificent status, and how He is deserving of all worship, the Seerah lessons, etc, it all was worth it.
It is one of my most prized memories that I will ever have when going for Umrah.
It gives me comfort in knowing that they are attached to Islam, but also it gives me the drive to keep on treading forward.
Shaytan wants me to take it easy, but I will not take it easy.
Au contraire mon frére.
This minor victory is a victory, but it is not a license to become complacent.
Just like when Rocky Balboa was getting plummeted by Ivan Drago, and it seemed like the fight was over, Rocky finallythrew a right hook and cut the Russian giant, shattering his confidence, and allowing Rocky to gain huge momentum.
Rocky didn’t stop at that one punch, but that punch exposed the fallible nature of the Russian giant, and made Rocky go all out for the victory in the end.
Even better, when the Prophet ﷺ freed the Arabian Peninsula from idol worship, they Muslims didn’t stop there.
They kept going and doubled down on spreading Islam!
Every victory you see from your child’s manifestation of Islam should be a motivational tool to make you double down on your quest for knowledge and teaching that knowledge to your children.
Complacency is not an option.
Complacency is never the option.
----
P.S. On a side note, not everyone reacts the same way emotionally during circumstances like this one (seeing the Ka’ba for the first time). Some people don’t feel that overwhelming emotion until after they start making tawaf, or even days later. People are different, and crying at first glance vs not crying at first glance does not necessarily mean one is more or less pious.
Yet another reason not to be complacent.
The moment we were waiting for had finally arrived.
It is always an emotional scene for many including myself, but I was not sure how my kids would react. The 7yr old was just not feeling well and I didn’t expect much of a reaction from her, but my 10 and 12 yr olds were old enough to appreciate what we were about to lay our eyes on.
They were also quite tired and jet-lagged over the past week of activities in Madinah, so I was not really sure how they would react when seeing the Ka’ba for the first time.
When that moment finally came, and my two oldest children lifted their heads up to finally get a glance at the Ka’ba, they immediately started tearing up.
Subhan Allah.
It was a pleasant surprise for me and also made me a bit more emotional, because I realized that my wife and I are doing something right.
We have done something right in order to make them feel emotionally attached to the house of Allah.
All those years of teaching the kids about who Allah is, His magnificent status, and how He is deserving of all worship, the Seerah lessons, etc, it all was worth it.
It is one of my most prized memories that I will ever have when going for Umrah.
It gives me comfort in knowing that they are attached to Islam, but also it gives me the drive to keep on treading forward.
Shaytan wants me to take it easy, but I will not take it easy.
Au contraire mon frére.
This minor victory is a victory, but it is not a license to become complacent.
Just like when Rocky Balboa was getting plummeted by Ivan Drago, and it seemed like the fight was over, Rocky finally threw a right hook and cut the Russian giant, shattering his confidence, and allowing Rocky to gain huge momentum.
Rocky didn’t stop at that one punch, but that punch exposed the fallible nature of the Russian giant, and made Rocky go all out for the victory in the end.
Even better, when the Prophet ﷺ freed the Arabian Peninsula from idol worship, the Muslims didn’t stop there.
They kept going and doubled down on spreading Islam!
Every victory you see from your child’s manifestation of Islam should be a motivational tool to make you double down on your quest for knowledge and teaching that knowledge to your children.
Complacency is not an option.
Complacency is never the option.
——
P.S. On a side note, not everyone reacts the same way emotionally during circumstances like this one (seeing the Ka’ba for the first time). Some people don’t feel that overwhelming emotion until after they start making tawaf, or even days later. People are different, and crying at first glance vs not crying at first glance does not necessarily mean one is more or less pious.
Yet another reason not to be complacent.
Sexually explicit deepfakes are everywhere in high schools.
Matteo Wong from the Atlantic about the power of AI:
This power has brought with it a tremendous dark side that many experts are only now beginning to contend with: AI is being used to create nonconsensual, sexually explicit images and videos of children. And not just in a handful of cases—perhaps millions of kids nationwide have been affected in some way by the emergence of this technology, either directly victimized themselves or made aware of other students who have been.
Kids as young as 9 are being exposed to this type of material:
Today’s report joins several others documenting the alarming prevalence of AI-generated NCII. In August, Thorn, a nonprofit that monitors and combats the spread of child-sexual-abuse material (CSAM), released a report finding that 11 percent of American children ages 9 to 17 know of a peer who has used AI to generate nude images of other kids.
The amount of AI-generated CSAM is also underreported:
Although the number of official reports related to AI-generated CSAM are relatively small—roughly 5,000 tips in 2023 to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, compared with tens of millions of reports about other abusive images involving children that same year—those figures were possibly underestimated and have been growing. It’s now likely that “there are thousands of new [CSAM] images being generated a day,” David Thiel, who studies AI-generated CSAM at Stanford, told me. This summer, the U.K.-based Internet Watch Foundation found that in a one-month span in the spring, more than 3,500 examples of AI-generated CSAM were uploaded to a single dark-web forum—an increase from the 2,978 uploaded during the previous September.
Most of these victims naturally are female, which should not be a surprise.
Share this with Muslim parents (heck, all parents) who still think public schools are safe and OK, especially for their daughters.
Matteo Wong from the Atlantic about the power of AI:
This power has brought with it a tremendous dark side that many experts are only now beginning to contend with: AI is being used to create nonconsensual, sexually explicit images and videos of children. And not just in a handful of cases—perhaps millions of kids nationwide have been affected in some way by the emergence of this technology, either directly victimized themselves or made aware of other students who have been.
Kids as young as 9 are being exposed to this type of material:
Today’s report joins several others documenting the alarming prevalence of AI-generated NCII. In August, Thorn, a nonprofit that monitors and combats the spread of child-sexual-abuse material (CSAM), released a report finding that 11 percent of American children ages 9 to 17 know of a peer who has used AI to generate nude images of other kids.
The amount of AI-generated CSAM is also underreported:
Although the number of official reports related to AI-generated CSAM are relatively small—roughly 5,000 tips in 2023 to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, compared with tens of millions of reports about other abusive images involving children that same year—those figures were possibly underestimated and have been growing. It’s now likely that “there are thousands of new [CSAM] images being generated a day,” David Thiel, who studies AI-generated CSAM at Stanford, told me. This summer, the U.K.-based Internet Watch Foundation found that in a one-month span in the spring, more than 3,500 examples of AI-generated CSAM were uploaded to a single dark-web forum—an increase from the 2,978 uploaded during the previous September.
Most of these victims naturally are female, which should not be a surprise.
Share this with Muslim parents (heck, all parents), who still think public schools are safe and OK, especially for their daughters.
Instagram tries to do damage control..
Alaina Demopoulos from The Guardian:
Sevey Morton first got an Instagram account when she was 10 years old. She used it to keep up with friends, but also to follow pop culture trends. Now 16, the San Diego high schooler says all the airbrushed perfection and slickly edited selfies from celebrities and influencers made her hyper-focused on her appearance, causing anxiety and body image issues.
“Being exposed to that at a very young age impacted the way I grew into myself,” Morton said. “There is a huge part of me that wishes social media did not exist.”
In the book, “Beauty sick,” practically every single girl that was interviewed was thankful that social media didn’t exist back in the 80s and 90s.
The sad thing is that if we don’t guide our kids, then they will always think about what others think about them, versus what Allah thinks about them. If our girls from an early age focus on Allah, then life will be easier for both them and their families! We sometimes think Islam makes our lives harder, but the reality is that it makes it simpler, easier, and more peaceful.
Does instagram have a solution? Sure it does, but they could have acted a lot sooner:
Jim Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense Media, an organization that promotes safe technology for children, called the timing of Meta’s announcement “transparent.
“This is basically another attempt to make a splashy announcement when the company’s feeling the heat politically, period” Steyer said. “Meta has always had these capabilities and the ability to develop new features, and they could have done this to protect young people for the last 10 years. Now that we’re in the middle of a mental health crisis among young people that’s been significantly brought on by social media platforms like Instagram, they’re acting now under pressure from lawmakers and advocates.”
Even if the social media companies are acting to protect the youth under pressure, these stop gaps are not good enough according to experts:
For Jon-Patrick Allem, an associate professor at Rutgers School of Public Health who researches social media’s effects on teens, Instagram’s new rules do not seem radical. “I read a line in the New York Times that described these rules as ‘a sweeping overhaul’,” he said. “I can’t think of a worse way of describing this. I think instead, these are slight modifications on one app that will probably do some good, but not enough good.”
So basically, Instagram is like Morphine, and Instagram with the new teen restrictions is like Suboxone. You’ll still be hooked, but you can’t get as high as you used to.
You will fail to achieve ultimate happiness, and that failure should make you happy.
I remember driving to college back in the early 2000s, and I was just hoping to already be in the future.
I didn’t want to go through the struggles of going through college, another 4 years or more of tests, papers, etc.
I just wanted to start working and get married...
I remember driving to college back in the early 2000s, and I was just hoping to already be in the future.
I didn’t want to go through the struggles of going through college, another 4 years or more of tests, papers, etc.
I just wanted to start working and get married.
Kids weren’t really in my radar, but just to have a companion to spend time with and do things couples do would just be really nice.
I just wanted to be established right now!
I wanted to be like those who were older than me, who were already established in their careers, married, and had families.
Alhamdulillah that time has come. Now in my early 40s, I have a good job, a loving wife and kids, and I have achieved what I wanted over 20 years ago.
The crazy thing is, sometimes when I go to work, or when I’m just thinking about life while driving, I wish I could go back to the times when things were easy. I was living single, and life was just more calm and less hectic.
Hanging out with friends in college was a blast!
There were less responsibilities, less people relying on me (after Allah of course), and probably less stress (or just different kinds of stress).
There was less lewdness in society, less liberalism, less deviance, and NO social media.
Subhan Allah, I got what I wanted, but now I want to go back to the “good ol’ days.”
This isn’t to say that I am not extremely thankful, but it just shows us what humans are like.
We will never achieve ultimate happiness in this world.
We will never achieve ultimate satisfaction in this world.
Stress will always be there, but it will manifest itself in different ways.
It’s either school and getting those grades, or it’s family and thinking about how will I find the right spouse for my daughters?
This cycle of life, where we are never really in a state of bliss, is just a reminder that this life was never meant to be blissful.
That is why it is called a delusion in the Qur’an:
وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا مَتَـٰعُ ٱلْغُرُورِ ٢٠
The life of this world is nothing but delusion.
Surah Hadid (57:20)
You can never be truly happy in this life. Your pursuit for endless happiness will only make you realize how sad you are, because you're chasing a mirage.
Whether you are rich or poor, you will always have something to worry about.
Your health.
Your kids.
Your family.
Your business.
Your job.
But don’t worry, because you and I were created to be in constant struggle in this life.
I know that sounds crazy, but it is true!
Most definitely, we were created to be in constant struggle:
لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ ٤
Indeed, We have created humankind in ˹constant˺ struggle.
Surah Balad (90:4)
This verse always makes me feel at ease and I believe can solve people’s depression because it makes me realize that problems and struggles will always be there.
The perfect life doesn’t exist.
That Instagram life doesn’t exist!
There will always be some things that will make you stressed, so don’t throw all your hopes and dreams on this life.
On the flipside, remember what Allah says when He describes Jannah:
بَلَىٰ مَنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُۥ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌۭ فَلَهُۥٓ أَجْرُهُۥ عِندَ رَبِّهِۦ وَلَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ ١١٢
But no! Whoever submits themselves to Allah and does good will have their reward with their Lord. And there will be no fear for them, nor will they grieve.
Surah Baqara (2:112)
Did you read that last part?
“There will be no fear for them, nor will they grieve.”
This is the part of Jannah that we have not had a preview of in this world. We have had a preview of a lot of other traits of Jannah, such as rivers, good food, women, money, children, and other luxuries, but we have never really tasted the lack of fear or grief.
There’s always something in the back of our heads that keeps us occupied regardless of who we are.
Everyone struggles, everyone goes through hardships.
But we can use these struggles to remind ourselves that the ultimate goal is to get to Jannah, and that will be the place of no fear and no grief.
If you feel like you constantly have problems in your life,
Welcome to the club!
Why Muslim men need to be fit.
I’ve heard many podcasts about this topic, and it’s nice to see one from a Muslim perspective, Allahumma barik. Check out this video, and here’s a serious but funny clip from the show 😅.
I’ve heard many podcasts about this topic, and it’s nice to see one from a Muslim perspective, Allahumma barik. Check out this video, and here’s a serious but funny clip from the show 😅.
Cutting off your parents is now becoming more acceptable.
Anna Russell from The New Yorker, writes about how many people are going “no contact” with their parents. She goes through a detailed story of a girl named Amy, and it is quite chilling how this can be a reflection of the Muslim family breakdown as well:
Anna Russell from The New Yorker, writes about how many people are going “no contact” with their parents. She goes through a detailed story of a girl named Amy, and it is quite chilling how this can be a reflection of the Muslim family breakdown as well:
One day in the mid-two-thousands, a teen-ager named Amy waited to hear the voice of God. She was sitting in a youth Bible-study group, surrounded by her peers, and losing patience. Everyone else in the group seemed to hear God speak all the time, but Amy had never heard Him, not even a peep. Her hands didn’t shimmer with gold dust after she prayed, as others claimed theirs did, and she was never able to say, with confidence, “The Holy Spirit told me to do it.” She went home that evening, determined to try again the next day. A few years passed and she still heard nothing. She began to wonder if something was wrong with her. “God didn’t talk to me,” she wrote later, in a blog post. “I was afraid that meant either he wasn’t there, or I wasn’t good enough.”
Amy, the eldest of five siblings, was homeschooled by evangelical parents in the suburbs of Alberta, Canada. (She asked that I use only her first name.) She was bright, and happy, and remembers days spent reading “David Copperfield” aloud with her siblings. It was only when she left for college—Ambrose University, a Christian liberal-arts school—that aspects of her childhood began to strike her as peculiar. Amy remembers her parents telling her, when she was six, that her grandparents were going to Hell because they weren’t Christians. She grew up believing in creationism, and was startled to feel persuaded by the evidence for evolution in her college textbooks. She grappled with the “problem of evil”: If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, how can he allow so many terrible things to happen? “I started to diverge from my parents,” she told me recently.
Part of Amy’s original motivation for going to college, which she paid for herself, was to find a husband: she had been taught that men were better spiritual leaders than women, and hoped that a partner could help her hear God. Ambrose was socially conservative. No drinking. No sex outside of marriage. She found a boyfriend, but the relationship didn’t last, and soon she wasn’t sure she wanted to get married at all. She enjoyed her courses, and took such thorough notes that, on one occasion, other students offered to buy them. “Amy came to university like a sponge,” Ken Nickel, Amy’s philosophy professor, told me. “She wanted to understand.” On visits home, she stumbled into conflicts. During a family vacation in 2013, she told her parents and siblings that she didn’t think the Bible implied that it was wrong to be gay. “I think, naïvely, I was just, like, Oh, they’ve just never heard this interpretation,” she said. “And they’ll be, like, ‘Oh, my gosh, thank you for letting us know!’ ” Instead, as Amy tells it, one of her younger brothers became upset, and quoted Bible verses to make the opposite argument. Her mother sent her a letter expressing concern for her soul. During the drive home after her graduation, it came up that Amy identified as a feminist, and her parents began arguing with her about abortion. She cried in the back seat.
Amy attended law school, and a few years later returned to Ambrose to speak at an event. While visiting, she learned from the university’s president that her parents had sent him a letter expressing displeasure about Amy’s transformation. Their daughter used to be a “Bible quizzer,” they wrote, but now “rarely picks up a Bible except to highlight the verses that she believes say the opposite of their obvious and orthodox meaning.” Her mother said that Amy had a difficult relationship with her brothers, whom she now regarded as “misogynists.” If her parents could start over, they would discourage her from attending the school. “She used to be a calm and steady young woman but now suffers from a sometimes debilitating anxiety in spite of how faithful and unwavering God is in His support and provision,” the letter read. “She has turned her face from Him towards despair.” Amy told me that learning about the letter was “destabilizing.” She wasn’t yet estranged from her family—that would happen a few years later—but she found herself visiting less often.
Family estrangement—the process by which family members become strangers to one another, like intimacy reversed—is still somewhat taboo. But, in some circles, that’s changing. In recent years, advocates for the estranged have begun a concerted effort to normalize it. Getting rid of the stigma, they argue, will allow more people to get out of unhealthy family relationships without shame…
This is a concerning trend that we need to be aware of, especially Muslims. I have seen numerous sisters who were from practicing families and wore the hijab, and now have taken off the hijab and fully embraced the independent female, liberal lifestyle.
I have also seen brothers who were from Muslim families attend college and become atheists after studying philosophy, with their parents devastated.
I have seen parents die a little on the inside when their kids have strayed away, and I can see it on their faces.
It’s really sad.
What we have to realize is that shaytan doesn’t start attacking people after they go away to college, but it starts from birth. We have all heard the famous hadith:
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No person is born but that he is pricked by Satan and he cries from the touch of Satan, except for the son of Mary and his mother.” Abu Huraira said, “Recite the verse if you wish: Verily, I seek refuge for her and her offspring from the cursed Satan.” (3:36)
Source: Sahih Bukhari 3431, Sahih Muslim 2366
What happens after birth? You give your child to the daycare to raise, which has been considered criminal by even the liberal scholars like Hamza Yusuf. Then they are raised by their peers in school, then high school, then college, and then you wonder why they are totally different from you and your Islamic values.
There is anything but Islam in these institutions, especially in college. The idea is to liberalize the people and make them pursue the mirage of self-happiness, and self-pleasure, which ironically leads to more depression.
As parents, we need to educate ourselves about the religion, and we need to also know how to defend the religion. It is not enough to just teach Islam to your families, but they need to know how to counter the constant attacks against it. The least we can do is have the resources on hand when we need to have discussions with our kids.
I have just provided you with an excerpt, but you should definitely read the full story here if the above link doesn’t work.
The Death of Parenting?
Al-Farsi from MuslimSkeptic describing the death of parenting:
From the moment they are born, they are subjected to medical procedures, poked, bled, prodded, injected, and handled by uniformed strangers who usher them into their new life. At the tender age of three or four, they are torn from the loving embrace of their mothers, their lips barely dry from the final taste of their mother’s milk, and they are thrust into the cold hands of an education system...
Al-Farsi from MuslimSkeptic describing the death of parenting:
From the moment they are born, they are subjected to medical procedures, poked, bled, prodded, injected, and handled by uniformed strangers who usher them into their new life. At the tender age of three or four, they are torn from the loving embrace of their mothers, their lips barely dry from the final taste of their mother’s milk, and they are thrust into the cold hands of an education system.
They are herded onto school buses and taken to uniform, soulless rooms where their minds are molded by kuffar for eight hours a day—the very same spiritually dead people whose lives revolve around waiting to intoxicate themselves beyond cognition at the end of each and every week of their nihilistic, meaningless, purposeless existence.
Once, a son would walk in the footsteps of his father, learning a cherished, generational craft such as carpentry, acquiring not merely a trade but also a moral compass, shaped by the wisdom of seasoned elders.
Today, young minds spend eight hours a day in the company of their equally inexperienced peers, developing flawed moral notions and orientations. Is it any wonder then that our newspapers are replete with stories of young people committing acts of astounding cruelty, actions so monstrous in their nature that they defy the innocence of youth?
The home, once a sanctuary and a living, breathing citadel, has lost its essence, its soul. Within its walls, women once possessed the skills of nursing, midwifery, tailoring, cooking, counseling, and educating. In childbirth, they were surrounded by their kin, experienced in the arts of nurturing and delivery. A child’s first touch was the warm embrace of a loving relative, not the sterile glove of a complete stranger. But now, under the clinical, detached gaze of the obstetrician, childbirth is viewed not as a natural miracle but as a pathology.
From the home, women tended to both playground wounds and battle wounds. They possessed the skills to stitch flesh and cloth in equal measure.
The home, once the center of life’s great functions—birth, education, healing, and nurturing—, has been stripped of its purpose. These sacred duties have been siphoned off to the impersonal machinery of the state, an entity incapable of genuine care and concern.
Homes are no longer institutions. They are Airbnbs. Bodies may dwell within them as a place for eating and sleeping, but hearts dwell there no longer.
A powerful description of what is happening to our youth. My mother drove a school bus for a few years, and she is completely onboard with us homeschooling our children.
Al-Farsi continues to talk about the death of spiritual parenthood, where people would travel and be with a Shaykh for several years:
In the pre-modern world, a man lived with his shaykh, studied under him, and shared a contiguous period of life with him. A shaykh would take on only a handful of students, dedicating all his time, attention, and wisdom to these select few. He fed them, clothed them, and counseled them. From this intimate relationship emerged the great scholars of our tradition. Both a man and his wife would often be guided by the same shaykh (of course, while adhering to the dictates of the Shari’ah), under his spiritual tutelage and care.
Today, the modern madrasah system is but a pale imitation of post-industrial schooling, lacking the intimacy, the tarbiyah (nurturing), the tazkiyah (purification), and the islah (reform) that were once so central to the transmission of knowledge and virtue. The bond between teacher and student has become transactional, devoid of the deep personal connection that gave birth to our greatest scholars.
Although the ability to be with a Shaykh and spend years with him is more difficult, it is sad to see how parenting, which is the most natural student-teacher relationship, has become a shell of its former glory.
What your peers and friends say and do takes precedence over your parents advice, and parents easily give in without a fuss since, “everybody is doing it,” or because, “I just want my kid to be happy.”
Liberal tendencies.
The child is “in charge,” and the parent feels helpless, and they’re both miserable since no one is playing their role.
The end of the family unit is the end of a wholesome society.
How to live your life so your children can be successful.
Surah Kahf has so many hidden gems inside of it, and the one that really stuck with me today was about the righteous father who left behind two orphan boys.
This father who passed away, he did two important things:
Surah Kahf has so many hidden gems inside of it, and the one that really stuck with me today was about the righteous father who left behind two orphan boys.
This father who passed away, he did two important things:
1. He was a righteous man.
2. He saved for his family.
We all know that we have to earn for our families, and everyone takes this for granted.
Allah did not emphasize this in the ayah.
What did Allah emphasize?
“And their father had been a righteous man.”
وَأَمَّا ٱلْجِدَارُ فَكَانَ لِغُلَـٰمَيْنِ يَتِيمَيْنِ فِى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ وَكَانَ تَحْتَهُۥ كَنزٌۭ لَّهُمَا وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَـٰلِحًۭا فَأَرَادَ رَبُّكَ أَن يَبْلُغَآ أَشُدَّهُمَا وَيَسْتَخْرِجَا كَنزَهُمَا رَحْمَةًۭ مِّن رَّبِّكَ ۚ وَمَا فَعَلْتُهُۥ عَنْ أَمْرِى ۚ ذَٰلِكَ تَأْوِيلُ مَا لَمْ تَسْطِع عَّلَيْهِ صَبْرًۭا ٨٢
“And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and under the wall was a treasure that belonged to them, and their father had been a righteous man. So your Lord willed that these children should come of age and retrieve their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord. I did not do it ˹all˺ on my own. This is the explanation of what you could not bear patiently.”
Surah Kahf (18:82)
Allah SWT is telling us that if we put our trust in Him and follow the path towards Allah, Allah will take care of our affairs.
But at the same time, we have to do the work and try our best to make it happen!
The treasure that was buried was an active step done by the father, and he obviously had to earn it first and plan ahead.
Remember, tawakkul (trust in Allah) requires us to do our part first, and then leave the rest to Allah.
Don’t just invest in your children’s worldly future, but also remember that if you are righteous, then Allah will provide for them even better than what you have planned.
Make Allah your priority, earn for your family, plan for your family, and leave the rest to Allah.
Will your kids resent you?
If you don’t teach your kids about Islam, and make it a part of their life, they might resent you. Of course there should always be respect and good manners towards parents, but sometimes thoughts still creep in and if a parent deprives their child of sound Islamic knowledge, that child will always feel behind once they start practicing Islam.
Not only that, but it can lead to families bickering and even splitting apart, especially if they are on different wavelengths in terms of following the religion.
If you practice, and you teach your kids to practice, your relationship in sha Allah will be fruitful, blessed, and strong.
Unfortunately, there are probably a lot of people like this sister here asking this question.
If you don’t teach your kids about Islam, and make it a part of their life, they might resent you. Of course there should always be respect and good manners towards parents, but sometimes thoughts still creep in and if a parent deprives their child of sound Islamic knowledge, that child will always feel behind once they start practicing Islam.
Not only that, but it can lead to families bickering and even splitting apart, especially if they are on different wavelengths in terms of following the religion.
If you practice, and you teach your kids to practice, your relationship in sha Allah will be fruitful, blessed, and strong.
Unfortunately, there are probably a lot of people like this sister here asking this question.
Tips for a successful marriage.
Sr. Na’ima Robert talks about an important discussion that was very beneficial not only for prospective Muslims who want to get married, but also for those who have been married for years.
A good listen, especially the first 10-15 minutes where she talks about her personal story of marriage, loss, and shukr (thankfulness).
If there’s one thing I can say about this video, it is to watch the first 10-15 minutes about shukr and what to do when you go through a tragic loss. The formula that she was told by a friend was nothing short of genius and total submission to Allah.
Sr. Na’ima Robert talks about an important discussion that was very beneficial not only for prospective Muslims who want to get married, but also for those who have been married for years.
A good listen, especially the first 10-15 minutes where she talks about her personal story of marriage, loss, and shukr (thankfulness).
If there’s one thing I can say about this video, the advice about thankfulness that she was told by a friend was nothing short of genius and total submission to Allah.
Generative AI and “nudify” apps
Matt Burgess, from Wired.com (on arstechnica):
Major technology companies, including Google, Apple, and Discord, have been enabling people to quickly sign up to harmful “undress” websites, which use AI to remove clothes from real photos to make victims appear to be “nude” without their consent. More than a dozen of these deepfake websites have been using login buttons from the tech companies for months.
Matt Burgess, from Wired.com (on arstechnica):
Major technology companies, including Google, Apple, and Discord, have been enabling people to quickly sign up to harmful “undress” websites, which use AI to remove clothes from real photos to make victims appear to be “nude” without their consent. More than a dozen of these deepfake websites have been using login buttons from the tech companies for months.
A WIRED analysis found 16 of the biggest so-called undress and “nudify” websites using the sign-in infrastructure from Google, Apple, Discord, Twitter, Patreon, and Line. This approach allows people to easily create accounts on the deepfake websites—offering them a veneer of credibility—before they pay for credits and generate images.
While bots and websites that create nonconsensual intimate images of women and girls have existed for years, the number has increased with the introduction of generative AI. This kind of “undress” abuse is alarmingly widespread, with teenage boys allegedly creating images of their classmates. Tech companies have been slow to deal with the scale of the issues, critics say, with the websites appearing highly in search results, paid advertisements promoting them on social media, and apps showing up in app stores.
This is another reason why women and girls in general, shouldn’t post their photos online. The fitna is already there even if the photos aren’t sexualized, but this is a whole other level of just destroying a girls reputation.
Imagine if this became rampant in the Muslim community? It would just be a huge mess, with families’ reputations being tarnished and girls being slandered against left and right. Imagine a high school or middle school boy liking a muslim girl in school, and trying this feature on her. She may not even be one who posts photos online and might not even be involved in social media, but anyone can just take your photo these days and do whatever they want with it.
This is a continuation of a trend that normalizes sexual violence against women and girls by Big Tech,” says Adam Dodge, a lawyer and founder of EndTAB (Ending Technology-Enabled Abuse). “Sign-in APIs are tools of convenience. We should never be making sexual violence an act of convenience,” he says. “We should be putting up walls around the access to these apps, and instead we're giving people a drawbridge.
Putting up walls around access to the apps might stop a few people, but those who really want to nudify someone will find a way to nudify them.
Muslim parents should take heed and address these issues with their children, especially if they have cell phones and are on social media.
The one who remembers Allah versus, “one of the swearers.”
We were stopped at a traffic light, and all of a sudden, we got struck in the rear by another vehicle.
There was a sudden moment of panic between me and the other brother next to me, and there were 2 different reactions to this accident.
We were stopped at a traffic light, and all of a sudden, we got struck in the rear by another vehicle.
There was a sudden moment of panic between me and the other brother next to me, and there were 2 different reactions to this accident.
One person said a form of dhikr, either "La Ilaha Il Allah!" or "Allahu Akbar!" (I can't remember which one.)
and the other person said, "Mother f***ker!"
My goal here is not to boast or anything, but I was the one who said a form of dhikr, and the person next to me was the one swearing. If this had happened back when I was a lot younger though, I would also have been, "one of the swearers."
Imagine being known as, "one of the swearers."
What if we had died that day? One of us would have ended with the dhikr of Allah, and the other one would have ended his life with an expletive.
Subhan Allah!
The question we have to ask ourselves is, what will we say on our death bed?
It is easy to say that I will say the shahadah on my death bed, but what guarantee do you have that you will die a slow death in a hospital bed, where you know the end is near?
How do you know that you won't just go suddenly in an accident, just like so many people have gone?
The irony of this whole situation is that we were actually on our way back home after a funeral burial!
Not only that, but the person who passed away was a close relative of mine, who died unexpectedly in his own home.
Once again, Subhan Allah!
We have the blessing of always remembering Allah throughout our day, and we don't need to be in the state of wudhu to remember Him. You can say all the dhikr you want, at anytime!
Keep your tongue moist with the dhikr of Allah, and get rid of the filth that you have been saying.
The sooner you start, the better you will become at remembering Allah.
Think about it, when you restrain your tongue, that action in and of itself is a remembrance of Allah! You're doing it so you don't displease Him and accumulate sins.
Remember, it takes years to condition yourself to say dhikr at moments of sudden hardship and pain.
It will not happen overnight! I am talking from experience.
Just like the questions in the grave. We all know the answers, but our actions and our level of faith will determine whether or not we can actually answer those questions when we are 6 feet under.
Saying dhikr at times of difficulty and at times of ease is a Sunnah, and it is an easy one that we can implement in our lives.
Imagine dying while swearing, acquiring a sin and displeasing Allah at your last moment.
Audhubillah..
Now imagine the opposite, where you die remembering Allah as your last words. You will die doing a Sunnah and remembering Alllah at the same time!
Allahu Akbar!
The choice is yours, and it is up to you to work on yourself so you can have a good ending to your life.
The more you strive towards Allah, the more you will remember Allah, the more dhikr you will do, and when life hits you with a ton of bricks (or with the front end of a car!), then in sha Allah, you will be conditioned to praise Allah instead of displeasing Allah.
Remember what the Prophet (peace be upon him) said about the consequences of the tongue:
"O Messenger of Allah! Shall we really be accounted for what we talk about?" He replied, "May your mother lose you O Muadh! People will be thrown on their faces into Hell on account of their tongues."
Sunan Ibn Majah, 3973
At the same time, the tongue can lead you to Paradise:
It was narrated that Mu’aadh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say,: “If a person’s last words are Laa ilaaha ill-Allah, Paradise will be guaranteed for him.”
Narrated by Ahmad, 21529
May Allah allow all of us to have a good ending to our lives, Ameen.