America’s illiteracy problem.
The Atlantic released an article last week that was really eye popping, and the first paragraph really tells us a lot:
The past decade may rank as one of the worst in the history of American education. It marks a stark reversal from what was once a hopeful story. At the start of the century, American students registered steady improvement in math and reading. Around 2013, this progress began to stall out, and then to backslide dramatically. What exactly went wrong? The decline began well before the pandemic, so COVID-era disruptions alone cannot explain it. Smartphones and social media probably account for some of the drop. But there’s another explanation, albeit one that progressives in particular seem reluctant to countenance: a pervasive refusal to hold children to high standards.
Test scores about reading levels:
Test scores from NAEP, short for the National Assessment of Educational Progress, released this year show that 33 percent of eighth graders are reading at a level that is “below basic”—meaning that they struggle to follow the order of events in a passage or to even summarize its main idea. That is the highest share of students unable to meaningfully read since 1992. Among fourth graders, 40 percent are below basic in reading, the highest share since 2000.
The distribution numbers also shows how the divide between the rich and the poor is only growing, and will continue to grow:
These learning losses are not distributed equally. Across grades and subjects, the NAEP results show that the top tenth of students are doing roughly as well as they always have, whereas those at the bottom are doing worse. From 2000 to 2007, the bottom tenth of fourth graders in reading ability showed substantial improvement, before stagnating. But by 2024, those gains had been erased. In 49 out of the 50 states (all except Mississippi), the gap between the top tenth and the bottom tenth grew. Nat Malkus, of the American Enterprise Institute, has pointed out that this surging inequality has grown faster in America than in other developed countries. The upshot is grim: The bottom tenth of 13-year-olds, according to NAEP’s long-term-trend data, are hitting lows in reading and math scores not seen since these tests began in 1971 and 1978, respectively.
The obvious problems such as smartphones, social media, and ill-spending are all going to be there, but the one critical component is always going to be how children learn to read:
A clear policy story is behind these improvements: imposing high standards while also giving schools the resources they needed to meet them. In 2013, Mississippi enacted a law requiring that third graders pass a literacy exam to be promoted to the next grade. It didn’t just issue a mandate, though; it began screening kids for reading deficiencies, training instructors in how to teach reading better (by, among other things, emphasizing phonics), and hiring literacy coaches to work in the lowest-performing schools. Louisiana’s improvements came about after a similar policy cocktail was administered, starting in 2021. And this outperformance might continue in the future: The state recently reported that the number of kindergartners reading at grade level more than doubled in the past academic year—rising from 28 percent to 61 percent.
The “Mississippi miracle” should force a reckoning in less successful states and, ideally, a good deal of imitation. But for Democrats, who pride themselves on belonging to the party of education, these results may be awkward to process. Not only are the southern states that are registering the greatest improvements in learning run by Republicans, but also their teachers are among the least unionized in the country. And these red states are leaning into phonics-based, “science of reading” approaches to teaching literacy, while Democratic-run states such as New York, New Jersey, and Illinois have been painfully slow to adopt them, in some cases hanging on to other pedagogical approaches with little evidentiary basis. “The same people who are absolutely outraged about what” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “is doing on vaccines are untroubled by just ignoring science when it comes to literacy,” Andrew Rotherham, a co-founder of the education-focused nonprofit Bellwether, told me.
Phonics is the key to reading, and it works no matter the economic status of the family. It is a simple curriculum that any parent can teach their children from a young age. If a child’s reading isn’t established, every other aspect of their life will be deficient, and they will be at a huge disadvantage throughout their life.
This isn’t a joke.
The way we learn how to read Qur’an, such as Noorani Qaeda, is the exact way we need to use to learn English. For more detail information from a professional Muslim teacher, check out this video from Br. Michael Abraham.
The Atlantic released an article last week that was really eye popping, and the first paragraph really tells us a lot:
The past decade may rank as one of the worst in the history of American education. It marks a stark reversal from what was once a hopeful story. At the start of the century, American students registered steady improvement in math and reading. Around 2013, this progress began to stall out, and then to backslide dramatically. What exactly went wrong? The decline began well before the pandemic, so COVID-era disruptions alone cannot explain it. Smartphones and social media probably account for some of the drop. But there’s another explanation, albeit one that progressives in particular seem reluctant to countenance: a pervasive refusal to hold children to high standards.
Test scores about reading levels:
Test scores from NAEP, short for the National Assessment of Educational Progress, released this year show that 33 percent of eighth graders are reading at a level that is “below basic”—meaning that they struggle to follow the order of events in a passage or to even summarize its main idea. That is the highest share of students unable to meaningfully read since 1992. Among fourth graders, 40 percent are below basic in reading, the highest share since 2000.
The distribution numbers also shows how the divide between the rich and the poor is only growing, and will continue to grow:
These learning losses are not distributed equally. Across grades and subjects, the NAEP results show that the top tenth of students are doing roughly as well as they always have, whereas those at the bottom are doing worse. From 2000 to 2007, the bottom tenth of fourth graders in reading ability showed substantial improvement, before stagnating. But by 2024, those gains had been erased. In 49 out of the 50 states (all except Mississippi), the gap between the top tenth and the bottom tenth grew. Nat Malkus, of the American Enterprise Institute, has pointed out that this surging inequality has grown faster in America than in other developed countries. The upshot is grim: The bottom tenth of 13-year-olds, according to NAEP’s long-term-trend data, are hitting lows in reading and math scores not seen since these tests began in 1971 and 1978, respectively.
The obvious problems such as smartphones, social media, and ill-spending are all going to be there, but the one critical component is always going to be how children learn to read:
A clear policy story is behind these improvements: imposing high standards while also giving schools the resources they needed to meet them. In 2013, Mississippi enacted a law requiring that third graders pass a literacy exam to be promoted to the next grade. It didn’t just issue a mandate, though; it began screening kids for reading deficiencies, training instructors in how to teach reading better (by, among other things, emphasizing phonics), and hiring literacy coaches to work in the lowest-performing schools. Louisiana’s improvements came about after a similar policy cocktail was administered, starting in 2021. And this outperformance might continue in the future: The state recently reported that the number of kindergartners reading at grade level more than doubled in the past academic year—rising from 28 percent to 61 percent.
The “Mississippi miracle” should force a reckoning in less successful states and, ideally, a good deal of imitation. But for Democrats, who pride themselves on belonging to the party of education, these results may be awkward to process. Not only are the southern states that are registering the greatest improvements in learning run by Republicans, but also their teachers are among the least unionized in the country. And these red states are leaning into phonics-based, “science of reading” approaches to teaching literacy, while Democratic-run states such as New York, New Jersey, and Illinois have been painfully slow to adopt them, in some cases hanging on to other pedagogical approaches with little evidentiary basis. “The same people who are absolutely outraged about what” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “is doing on vaccines are untroubled by just ignoring science when it comes to literacy,” Andrew Rotherham, a co-founder of the education-focused nonprofit Bellwether, told me.
Phonics is the key to reading, and it works no matter the economic status of the family. It is a simple curriculum that any parent can teach their children from a young age. If a child’s reading isn’t established, every other aspect of their life will be deficient, and they will be at a huge disadvantage throughout their life.
This isn’t a joke.
The way we learn how to read Qur’an, such as Noorani Qaeda, is the exact way we need to use to learn English. For more detail information from a professional Muslim teacher, check out this video from Br. Michael Abraham.
We are turning our temporary world into a Jannah.
The ease and luxury of how life is becoming and the lack of ambition and responsibility that people are avoiding makes it sound like people are really trying to turn this world into their Jannah.
A life of ease, no responsibilities, no children, no spouse, etc.
I can get all the pleasure I need in other ways.
It is all about me, and worrying only about myself.
You want to eat something in particular? A few clicks and you’ll have it in 30 minutes delivered to your doorstep.
You want to watch something? A few clicks and there you have it. Sometimes you don’t even need to do that because it shows up in your feed automatically because the algorithm knows what you like.
Doesn’t this remind you of Jannah, where you can think of any food or drink and it just shows up in your hand? Any pleasure you want to experience, and you can get it within seconds?
The algorithm and the conveniences of this world are making people weaker, and trying to turn this world into a Jannah is one of the biggest deceptions.
Your time in this world is just like a night followed by the day:
كَأَنَّهُمْ يَوْمَ يَرَوْنَهَا لَمْ يَلْبَثُوٓا۟ إِلَّا عَشِيَّةً أَوْ ضُحَىٰهَا ٤٦
On the Day they see it, it will be as if they had stayed ˹in the world˺ no more than one evening or its morning. (79:46)
This world is a mirage that will bite you back hard - when you realize the reality of the situation.
When Sunday night hits and you have work the next day.
Except it won’t be Sunday night. It will be your last night, and your soul will be leaving your throat.
The ease and luxury of how life is becoming and the lack of ambition and responsibility that people are avoiding makes it sound like people are really trying to turn this world into their Jannah.
A life of ease, no responsibilities, no children, no spouse, etc.
I can get all the pleasure I need in other ways.
It is all about me, and worrying only about myself.
You want to eat something in particular? A few clicks and you’ll have it in 30 minutes delivered to your doorstep.
You want to watch something? A few clicks and there you have it. Sometimes you don’t even need to do that because it shows up in your feed automatically because the algorithm knows what you like.
Doesn’t this remind you of Jannah, where you can think of any food or drink and it just shows up in your hand? Any pleasure you want to experience, and you can get it within seconds?
The algorithm and the conveniences of this world are making people weaker, and trying to turn this world into a Jannah is one of the biggest deceptions.
Your time in this world is just like a night followed by the day:
كَأَنَّهُمْ يَوْمَ يَرَوْنَهَا لَمْ يَلْبَثُوٓا۟ إِلَّا عَشِيَّةً أَوْ ضُحَىٰهَا ٤٦
On the Day they see it, it will be as if they had stayed ˹in the world˺ no more than one evening or its morning. (79:46)
This world is a mirage that will bite you back hard - when you realize the reality of the situation.
When Sunday night hits and you have work the next day.
Except it won’t be Sunday night. It will be your last night, and your soul will be leaving your throat.
Youth Risk surveys are pointless, flawed, and can worsen kids’ addictions and sexual behaviors. Opt-out of them.
“Do you inhale permanent markers?”
“Do you inhale Wite-Out?”
“Have you ever inhaled glue?”
“How often do you inhale these substances?”
I remember taking “youth risk” surveys when I was in school, where you’re asked a series of questions about your potential drug and sexual habits. Of course these surveys were anonymous, but I learned so much more illegal ways to harm myself through these surveys than before taking the survey.
How beneficial are these surveys? Who really knows, but I know kids would just mess around and lie just for laughs.
I used Wite-Out all the time in middle and high school, but it never came to me to vigorously inhale it for a sense of euphoria. But now, I was technically more prone to trying it since I knew about it.
I remember a similar experience in pharmacy school, where the students were taught about all the side effects of many controlled substances, such as Ketamine, LSD, and at the time, marijuana. The effects it has on your brain allows you to smell music, taste colors, and even experience “out-of-body” sensations where you can see yourself outside your body.
Makes you want to try it right?
At least in pharmacy school I was learning about drugs to help me identify what drug a patient might have overdosed on, but do our kids really need to discover every single way to experience euphoria?
And discover it through a survey that is looking to improve adolescent health?
The irony is insane.
“Do you inhale permanent markers?”
“Do you inhale Wite-Out?”
“Have you ever inhaled glue?”
“How often do you inhale these substances?”
I remember taking “youth risk” surveys when I was in school, where you’re asked a series of questions about your potential drug and sexual habits. Of course these surveys were anonymous, but I learned so much more illegal ways to harm myself through these surveys than before taking the survey.
How beneficial are these surveys? Who really knows, but I know kids would just mess around and lie just for laughs.
I used Wite-Out all the time in middle and high school, but it never came to me to vigorously inhale it for a sense of euphoria. But now, I was technically more prone to trying it since I knew about it.
I remember a similar experience in pharmacy school, where the students were taught about all the side effects of many controlled substances, such as Ketamine, LSD, and at the time, marijuana. The effects it has on your brain allows you to smell music, taste colors, and even experience “out-of-body” sensations where you can see yourself outside your body.
Makes you want to try it right?
At least in pharmacy school I was learning about drugs to help me identify what drug a patient might have overdosed on, but do our kids really need to discover every single way to experience euphoria?
And discover it through a survey that is looking to improve adolescent health?
The irony is insane.
The blueprint for family destruction and by extension, societal destruction.
1. Promote sexual freedom and women’s liberation from the household.
2. Have your children raised by daycare systems, making kids more distant from their parents physically and emotionally from birth.
3. Due to a lack of a dominant caretaker figure (the mother), kids never develop a secure attachment to the mother.
4. Child grows up with developmental problems and psychological issues due to said detachment.
5. All these issues are complex and parents don’t know why their kids are acting this way even thought the child has every gadget and toy possible, and so the child is medicated as a ”last resort.”
6. Medications that alter brain chemistry in young developing minds leads to worsening depression, anxiety, and leads to children acting more violent.
7. A general lack of purpose and lack of nourishment of the soul fuels all of the above.
8. School shootings become more and more prevalent.
9. Thinking the solution to this problem is to have less children and rely more and more on automation and robotics.
1. Promote sexual freedom and women’s liberation from the household.
2. Have your children raised by daycare systems, making kids more distant from their parents physically and emotionally from birth.
3. Due to a lack of a dominant caretaker figure (the mother), kids never develop a secure attachment to the mother.
4. Child grows up with developmental problems and psychological issues due to said detachment.
5. All these issues are complex and parents don’t know why their kids are acting this way even thought the child has every gadget and toy possible, and so the child is medicated as a ”last resort.”
6. Medications that alter brain chemistry in young developing minds leads to worsening depression, anxiety, and leads to children acting more violent.
7. A general lack of purpose and lack of nourishment of the soul fuels all of the above.
8. School shootings become more and more prevalent.
9. Thinking the solution to this problem is to have less children and rely more and more on automation and robotics.
How to fulfill the ties of kinship at weddings without compromising your religion.
I recently went to a wedding with my kids, but didn’t attend any of the functions. Didn’t go to the Sangeet, and didn’t go to the wedding either. These events are like many “Muslim” weddings, filled with tabarruj, music, dancing, etc., which is my main reason for avoidance. Even though I didn’t go to the actual events, I was able to stay at the same hotel as everyone else, and meet with my family and chat over breakfast and throughout the day before and after the events.
It sounds counterintuitive to spend all this time and money and not go to the wedding, but there is a much deeper reason why one should go in such a manner.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
“Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557)
Many people want to just be like everyone else, but you end up compromising your beliefs and principles. The reality is - you can uphold the ties of kinship, and you can avoid the haram.
My goal here isn’t to brag and think of myself as superior or as some holy, pious individual, but just to convey a simple message that will hopefully benefit many others in sha Allah.
It will cost you time and money to go and stay at the hotel and pay for your own meals while everyone is enjoying the festivities, but you will get much more time and wealth for your sacrifice.
Allah and His Messenger ﷺ are promising you more wealth and a longer lifespan!
What more could you ask for? Who doesn’t want those things?
That is literally everyone’s dream!
Remember, it’s tough to be the one who acts “weird” and is all alone, but every change for good has to start with one individual.
And that individual could be you.
I recently went to a wedding with my kids, but didn’t attend any of the functions. Didn’t go to the Sangeet, and didn’t go to the wedding either. These events are like many “Muslim” weddings, filled with tabarruj, music, dancing, etc., which is my main reason for avoidance. Even though I didn’t go to the actual events, I was able to stay at the same hotel as everyone else, and meet with my family and chat over breakfast and throughout the day before and after the events.
It sounds counterintuitive to spend all this time and money and not go to the wedding, but there is a much deeper reason why one should go in such a manner.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
“Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557)
Many people want to just be like everyone else, but you end up compromising your beliefs and principles. The reality is - you can uphold the ties of kinship, and you can avoid the haram.
My goal here isn’t to brag and think of myself as superior or as some holy, pious individual, but just to convey a simple message that will hopefully benefit many others in sha Allah.
It will cost you time and money to go and stay at the hotel and pay for your own meals while everyone is enjoying the festivities, but you will get much more time and wealth for your sacrifice.
Allah and His Messenger ﷺ are promising you more wealth and a longer lifespan!
What more could you ask for? Who doesn’t want those things?
That is literally everyone’s dream!
Remember, it’s tough to be the one who acts “weird” and is all alone, but every change for good has to start with one individual.
And that individual could be you.
The power of a Western-raised Muslim girl.
Most people want a traditional “back home girl” who isn’t influenced by the modern liberal movement.
Nothing wrong with that, but if you find someone from the West who is really on her Deen, thrived through the modern system, and wants to be a stay-at-home wife, she will be better at raising children in the West.
She knows the dangers and will do everything she can to homeschool.
A traditional back home girl won’t understand the modern threat as much, and will be less likely to homeschool.
Unfortunately, it’s becoming harder and harder to find these diamonds in the rough.
Most people want a traditional “back home girl” who isn’t influenced by the modern liberal movement.
Nothing wrong with that, but if you find someone from the West who is really on her Deen, thrived through the modern system, and wants to be a stay-at-home wife, she will be better at raising children in the West.
She knows the dangers and will do everything she can to homeschool.
A traditional back home girl won’t understand the modern threat as much, and will be less likely to homeschool.
Unfortunately, it’s becoming harder and harder to find these diamonds in the rough.
It is becoming obligatory NOT to send your kids to public school.
This isn’t the first time I heard this, but it’s so true Subhan Allah.
If schooling is finished (which it is), what else are public schools except disguised liberal agendas that are meant to destroy family units and focus only on the self?
If you live in a red state, don't be fooled and think your child is going to a conservative school, where the rule is, "You can have a boyfriend, but don't get pregnant because we have morals in this house."
This isn’t the first time I heard this, but it’s so true Subhan Allah.
If schooling is finished (which it is), what else are public schools except disguised liberal agendas that are meant to destroy family units and focus only on the self?
If you live in a red state, don't be fooled and think your child is going to a conservative school, where the rule is, "You can have a boyfriend, but don't get pregnant because we have morals in this house."
What my dad taught me.
I remember my dad sitting me down and telling me when I was a kid that when I grow up, I have to provide for my family after Allah.
It is a man’s responsibility to take care of his family and provide.
That stuck with me for many years, and was the reason why I made sure I took a path that led to success, wealth creation, and also was something that I truly enjoyed.
You can set your own children up for success, but you have to start having deep conversations with them.
I remember my dad sitting me down and telling me when I was a kid that when I grow up, I have to provide for my family after Allah.
It is a man’s responsibility to take care of his family and provide.
That stuck with me for many years, and was the reason why I made sure I took a path that led to success, wealth creation, and also was something that I truly enjoyed.
You can set your own children up for success, but you have to start having deep conversations with them.
You need to normalize the “abnormal.”
Parents:
You need to normalize talking to your children about the "abnormalities" of Islam.
Tell them, and more importantly, show them why Islam is the truth, and what happens to people who don't have proper guidance.
Use examples from your own life and be vulnerable with them. Show them how society is dwindling because of a lack of Islam.
You don't need to do research, just use examples from your own life experiences and from your co-workers, acquaintances, etc.
Tell them about the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, who said, "Islam began as something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers."
Parents:
You need to normalize talking to your children about the "abnormalities" of Islam.
Tell them, and more importantly, show them why Islam is the truth, and what happens to people who don't have proper guidance.
Use examples from your own life and be vulnerable with them. Show them how society is dwindling because of a lack of Islam.
You don't need to do research, just use examples from your own life experiences and from your co-workers, acquaintances, etc.
Tell them about the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, who said, "Islam began as something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers."
Are your teenagers getting “therapy” without your knowledge?
There's plenty of school counselors that could be providing "therapy" to your children without your knowledge, especially after they're 13 years old when they have more adult privileges and privacy safeguards according to US law.
Ironically, at the most rebellious time of a child's life, they're being counseled by strangers who have no context to the situations that might be going on in the teen's house, and the religious "limitations and restrictions" might be causing them "trauma." Of course in this situation, the student might need some intervention or may even need to shelter somewhere else until they can legally get separated from their parents.
I'm talking about loving parents who don't abuse kids. Regular parents who just want to lay down foundational rules both from a parenting and religious perspective, which only becomes hard to impossible when kids are surrounded by indecency and lack of good manners all day every day.
There's plenty of school counselors that could be providing "therapy" to your children without your knowledge, especially after they're 13 years old when they have more adult privileges and privacy safeguards according to US law.
Ironically, at the most rebellious time of a child's life, they're being counseled by strangers who have no context to the situations that might be going on in the teen's house, and the religious "limitations and restrictions" might be causing them "trauma." Of course in this situation, the student might need some intervention or may even need to shelter somewhere else until they can legally get separated from their parents.
I'm talking about loving parents who don't abuse kids. Regular parents who just want to lay down foundational rules both from a parenting and religious perspective, which only becomes hard to impossible when kids are surrounded by indecency and lack of good manners all day every day.
Staying in shape.
Alhumdulilah, I can do more pull ups now than when I was in high school.
I'm in my 40s.
Staying in shape is not an option, and most people realize it too late.
Alhumdulilah, I can do more pull ups now than when I was in high school.
I'm in my 40s.
Staying in shape is not an option, and most people realize it too late.
When the commercials are more poisonous than the TV show itself.
Television is already poison and a waste of time, but when the commercials are for drugs that most people don't need, the poison becomes even more potent.
Antidepressants that most people don't need, and add-on medications to your antidepressants if your main anti-depressant is not working are some of the most common ads I've seen recently when flipping through channels at a hotel.
They'll never tell you that you need a social life, spiritual healing, or that Islam is the solution. If you’re not feeling better they will tell you your medication isn’t working, and you need to supplement it with another drug that's usually classified as an atypical antipsychotic.
When it becomes normalized to take multiple drugs to fix a chemical imbalance in your head that didn’t exist and now exists because you’re on these medications.
The irony is unbelievable.
Television is already poison and a waste of time, but when the commercials are for drugs that most people don't need, the poison becomes even more potent.
Antidepressants that most people don't need, and add-on medications to your antidepressants if your main anti-depressant is not working are some of the most common ads I've seen recently when flipping through channels at a hotel.
They'll never tell you that you need a social life, spiritual healing, or that Islam is the solution. If you’re not feeling better they will tell you your medication isn’t working, and you need to supplement it with another drug that's usually classified as an atypical antipsychotic.
When it becomes normalized to take multiple drugs to fix a chemical imbalance in your head that didn’t exist and now exists because you’re on these medications.
The irony is unbelievable.
Do you even know your child is getting “therapy” (indoctrination)?
Over the past two years, so inundated have I been with parents' stories of school counselors encouraging a child to try on a variant gender identity, even changing the child's name without telling the parents, that I've almost wondered if there are any good school counselors. One parent I interviewed told me that her son's high school counselor had given him the address of a local LGBTQ youth shelter where he might seek asylum and attempt to legally liberate himself from loving parents.
There are good school counselors; I interviewed several. But the power structure's all wrong. Grant a leader the powers of a monarch, and he may gift his subjects freedom—but what's to tether him to his promises? That's placing a whole lot of trust in an individual counselor's con-science.
You might respond at this point: “Fortunately, my child has never been to see the school counselor.” But more likely, you don't know. In California, Illinois, Washington, Colorado, Florida, and Maryland, minors twelve or thirteen and up are statutorily entitled to access mental health care without parental permission. Schools are not only under no obligation to inform parents that their kids are meeting regularly with a school counselor, they may even be barred from doing so.
As long as a parent has not specifically forbidden it, a school counselor may be able to conduct a therapy session with a minor child without parental consent. School counselors are encouraged to make "judgment calls" about what information, gleaned in sessions with minor children, they may keep secret from the children's parents.
Even in states that require parents to be notified of their kids' in-school therapy, school social workers remain free to meet informally with a child and inquire about her sexual orientation, gender identity, or parents' divorce; such conversations often do not count as "therapy.”
Imagine many refugee families or parents that speak little to no English. What is happening to their kids, completely unbeknownst to them? This is how children come home one day and all of a sudden identify as gay or lesbian, without any previous warning signs. The parent is completely hoodwinked. The public schools are rewiring our childrens’ brains, and we don’t even speak the language.
Subhan Allah.
A fascinating yet disturbing quote from a real case in the UK:
“I’d cry after every party, but I didn’t know how to stop. I couldn’t be ‘haram’ enough to enjoy the sin or ‘halal’ enough to leave it.”
Over the past two years, so inundated have I been with parents' stories of school counselors encouraging a child to try on a variant gender identity, even changing the child's name without telling the parents, that I've almost wondered if there are any good school counselors. One parent I interviewed told me that her son's high school counselor had given him the address of a local LGBTQ youth shelter where he might seek asylum and attempt to legally liberate himself from loving parents.
There are good school counselors; I interviewed several. But the power structure's all wrong. Grant a leader the powers of a monarch, and he may gift his subjects freedom—but what's to tether him to his promises? That's placing a whole lot of trust in an individual counselor's con-science.
You might respond at this point: “Fortunately, my child has never been to see the school counselor.” But more likely, you don't know. In California, Illinois, Washington, Colorado, Florida, and Maryland, minors twelve or thirteen and up are statutorily entitled to access mental health care without parental permission. Schools are not only under no obligation to inform parents that their kids are meeting regularly with a school counselor, they may even be barred from doing so.
As long as a parent has not specifically forbidden it, a school counselor may be able to conduct a therapy session with a minor child without parental consent. School counselors are encouraged to make "judgment calls" about what information, gleaned in sessions with minor children, they may keep secret from the children's parents.
Even in states that require parents to be notified of their kids' in-school therapy, school social workers remain free to meet informally with a child and inquire about her sexual orientation, gender identity, or parents' divorce; such conversations often do not count as "therapy.”
Imagine many refugee families or parents that speak little to no English. What is happening to their kids, completely unbeknownst to them? This is how children come home one day and all of a sudden identify as gay or lesbian, without any previous warning signs. The parent is completely hoodwinked. The public schools are rewiring our childrens’ brains, and we don’t even speak the language.
Subhan Allah.
A fascinating yet disturbing quote from a real case in the UK:
“I’d cry after every party, but I didn’t know how to stop. I couldn’t be ‘haram’ enough to enjoy the sin or ‘halal’ enough to leave it.”
Homeschooling is difficult, but no pain, no gain.
Umm Khalid from MuslimSkeptic, describing her experience as a homeschooler:
Homeschooling is tiring, time-consuming, and often draining work.
But on days like these, when testing my children on Quran turns into a dynamic discussion on hadith and sirah and a recounting of historical incidents and stories of battle, it’s simply beautiful and fulfilling. My tiredness melts away as I marvel at the children’s level of understanding, their natural instinct to tie together the ayat of Quran with the sirah events they describe, and their process of information synthesis.
This reminds me of a commonly recited set of ayahs in the Qur’an that fits well in this situation for homeschooling families:
“So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.”
.فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا. إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًۭا
Surah 94: 5-6
Umm Khalid from MuslimSkeptic, describing her experience as a homeschooler:
Homeschooling is tiring, time-consuming, and often draining work.
But on days like these, when testing my children on Quran turns into a dynamic discussion on hadith and sirah and a recounting of historical incidents and stories of battle, it’s simply beautiful and fulfilling. My tiredness melts away as I marvel at the children’s level of understanding, their natural instinct to tie together the ayat of Quran with the sirah events they describe, and their process of information synthesis.
This reminds me of a commonly recited set of ayahs in the Qur’an that fits well in this situation for homeschooling families:
“So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.”
.فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا. إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًۭا
Surah 94: 5-6
What going to the Masjid can do for your mental health.
In Islam, it is obligatory for men to go to the Masjid and pray.
This sounds like a burden to the untrained eye, but it is a blessing in disguise.
A huge blessing!
It is the cornerstone of building a community upon righteousness.
The more you meet your brothers in the masjid, the more likely you are to interact with them, and build relationships with practicing families.
These relationships can then be used to build workflows and programs that help the community at large.
What is the opposite of not having a brotherhood?
You will be lonely and depressed, and that will affect all of your relationships, including your relationship with your wife and your kids.
This can easily spiral downhill, and instead of building, you'll be collapsing.
In Islam, it is obligatory for men to go to the Masjid and pray.
This sounds like a burden to the untrained eye, but it is a blessing in disguise.
A huge blessing!
It is the cornerstone of building a community upon righteousness.
The more you meet your brothers in the masjid, the more likely you are to interact with them, and build relationships with practicing families.
These relationships can then be used to build workflows and programs that help the community at large.
What is the opposite of not having a brotherhood?
You will be lonely and depressed, and that will affect all of your relationships, including your relationship with your wife and your kids.
This can easily spiral downhill, and instead of building, you'll be collapsing.
Antidepressants can ruin your life and your family’s life.
Blockbuster video on antidepressants, stimulants, and psychiatric drugs and how they can destroy your life.
This problem is creeping up more and more in schools, and kids are at the highest risk for these side effects since their brains are still developing.
Real advice from a real doctor whose in the trenches with these patients.
Blockbuster video on antidepressants, stimulants, and psychiatric drugs and how they can destroy your life.
This problem is creeping up more and more in schools, and kids are at the highest risk for these side effects since their brains are still developing.
Real advice from a real doctor whose in the trenches with these patients.
Remembering death is not morbid, it is what everyone needs.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Remember often the destroyer of pleasures: death.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2307
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Remember often the destroyer of pleasures: death.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2307
Qur’anic therapy in two powerful verses.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon. - To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.
We hear this phrase a lot, and we only use it when somebody passes away.
The reality though is, we need to use this phrase anytime we have any sort of calamity.
This is qualified by the previous verse in Surah Baqara, where Allah mentions:
We will certainly test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives and crops, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.
(Surah Baqara 155-156)
We need to ponder over this powerful statement: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon.
Imagine how many people can feel relief over their problems when they realize that their problem isn’t really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. Allah is our final destination, and it is up to me to do my best while asking Allah for help throughout my life. This calamity that happened to me, it is part of my test, and Allah will judge me on how I reacted to it.
Imagine how many people can stop relying on a magic pill to help with their problems, only to cause several more problems that didn’t exist before? This magic pill by the way, ends up becoming two, three, or even four magic pills that you will need, all because our mindset has become so far away from our Deen that we mimic the disbelievers even in how we cope with life. These same pills that were supposed to help you overcome your sadness has now caused you to fall even deeper in sadness.
Most therapists and healthcare professionals won’t tell you the obvious facts, which is that you need religion and you need Islam in order to really feel relief from your crises.
Medications are supposed to be a step-therapy until you find the underlying problem, not a long term solution, especially for mental health.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon. - To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.
We hear this phrase a lot, and we only use it when somebody passes away.
The reality though is, we need to use this phrase anytime we have any sort of calamity.
This is qualified by the previous verse in Surah Baqara, where Allah mentions:
We will certainly test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives and crops, but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.
(Surah Baqara 155-156)
We need to ponder over this powerful statement: Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raajioon.
Imagine how many people can feel relief over their problems when they realize that their problem isn’t really a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. Allah is our final destination, and it is up to me to do my best while asking Allah for help throughout my life. This calamity that happened to me, it is part of my test, and Allah will judge me on how I reacted to it.
Imagine how many people can stop relying on a magic pill to help with their problems, only to cause several more problems that didn’t exist before? This magic pill by the way, ends up becoming two, three, or even four magic pills that you will need, all because our mindset has become so far away from our Deen that we mimic the disbelievers even in how we cope with life. These same pills that were supposed to help you overcome your sadness has now caused you to fall even deeper in sadness.
Most therapists and healthcare professionals won’t tell you the obvious facts, which is that you need religion and you need Islam in order to really feel relief from your crises.
Medications are supposed to be a step-therapy until you find the underlying problem, not a long term solution, especially for mental health.
Algorithmic destruction of our girls.
Facebook (and probably Instagram) was out to make a buck from your child’s low self-esteem, causing her to feel ugly and depressed:
According to Wynn-Williams, Facebook tracked when teenage girls deleted selfies, then served customised beauty ads at that exact moment.
The platform's algorithms identified these deletions as cues of insecurity or dissatisfaction, and acted on them by showing ads promoting skincare, makeup, or cosmetic procedures.
This realtime targeting was designed to capitalise on negative feelings and encourage spending.
Yes, keep giving your child access to social media and a smartphone that you don’t even know how to enforce boundaries on because you’re also sucked into the matrix.
Facebook (and probably Instagram) was out to make a buck from your child’s low self-esteem, causing her to feel ugly and depressed:
According to Wynn-Williams, Facebook tracked when teenage girls deleted selfies, then served customised beauty ads at that exact moment.
The platform's algorithms identified these deletions as cues of insecurity or dissatisfaction, and acted on them by showing ads promoting skincare, makeup, or cosmetic procedures.
This realtime targeting was designed to capitalise on negative feelings and encourage spending.
Yes, keep giving your child access to social media and a smartphone that you don’t even know how to enforce boundaries on because you’re also sucked into the matrix.
Bad Therapy Step Nine: Encourage Young Adults to Break Contact with "Toxic" Family.
Therapists can poison your children. So much so that they can cut off their relationship with you, which is a major sin in Islam:
Clinical psychologist and author Joshua Coleman has devoted his entire practice to a phenomenon known as "family estrangement": adult children cutting off their parents, refusing to speak to them, even barring them from seeing the grandkids. A large-scale national survey confirms a recent increase in this phenomenon: almost 30 percent of Americans eighteen and older had cut off a family member.
Are the ostracized parents typically abusive? No, Coleman said; in general, he doesn't believe they are. From his own practice, Coleman has observed that adults who were abused as children very often blame themselves for the abuse. "Often, they're more interested in salvaging whatever they can of parental love." […]
When parents confront the adult children who've cut them off, Coleman tells me, the most typical explanation they give is: "Well, my therapist said, you emotionally abused me or you're emotionally incestuous. Or you have a narcissistic personality disorder? The parents, of course, respond defensively, and that just feels like proof positive to the adult child!" Coleman added, "I've wanted to write an article for the longest time with a title something like, Your Biggest Threat to Your Relationship with Your Child Isn't Parenting, It's the Therapist They're Going to See at Some Point."
One of the most damaging ideas to leach into the cultural bloodstream, according to Coleman, is that all unhappiness in adults is traceable to childhood trauma. Therapists have made endless mischief from this baseless and unfalsifiable assertion.
This is precisely how therapy often encourages young people to look at their lives. If your career isn't going well, if you're having trouble in relationships, if you're dissatisfied with your life, commence the hunt for hidden childhood traumas. And since parents are ultimately responsible for your childhood, any unearthed "childhood trauma" inevitably reads as an indictment of parents.
This might seem impossible, but remember this. Many practicing Muslim parents are already struggling with their children because the children are told not to do certain things in Islam, even though it is the norm for the child 8+ hours each day.
“Why can’t I listen to music?”
“Why can’t I go to the dance?”
“Why do I have to wear a hijab?”
“Why can’t I have a boyfriend?”
“Why can’t I have a girlfriend?”
“Why do I have to pray in school? Can’t I just come home and pray?”
There is already a lot of clash inside your child’s mind because they feel like they have to live two different lives.
Now imagine your children hearing the words that makes it “click” for them. Most of their problems were because of their parents. Your kids might not even go to a therapist, but now the therapist comes to them in the form of viral social media posts by so-called “experts” in the field of therapy.
Your relationship with your child was already on thin ice, and here comes a bad therapist with the ice pick. Let’s not forget your children’s’ non-Muslim friends who are already more likely to think their parents are “toxic” because they try to enforce basic rules.
The threshold for discipline and tolerance keeps dropping, and now a parent’s actions or restrictions are considered abusive over petty things.
We have to remember that cutting off the ties of kinship is a huge sin in Islam, and has severe consequences:
“And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).”
Ar-Ra`d 13:25
Parents will make mistakes and will be hard on children and there will always be a pull and tug, but it’s no reason to literally cut them off for the rest of your life.
Of course none of these scenarios are a guarantee, and the public school child can end up being a righteous Muslim, but you have to be realistic with the statistics. Don’t turn the exception into the rule and think your child or your family are the exception and immune to the problems and desires of society.
Even the Prophet ﷺ was guaranteed Jannah, but he was still told by Allah to praise his Lord and ask for forgiveness in Surah Nasr. He ﷺ took action and kept taking action till his last breath, even though he was promised Jannah. He didn’t want to be complacent and just let things go nilly willy.
Don’t ruin your relationship with your children from the start. Mothers especially need to stay at home and nourish the child and solidify that relationship between mother and child. Research has shown that babies literally mourn when their mothers are not present, and if your child is in a daycare, their relationship with you in the long run will continue to be damaged, requiring more and more effort to repair later on.
Once again, we’re talking about normal parents who make normal parenting mistakes, not parents who are sexual predators or those who abuse their children physically and emotionally.
Quotes from Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up
Therapists can poison your children. So much so that they can cut off their relationship with you, which is a major sin in Islam:
Clinical psychologist and author Joshua Coleman has devoted his entire practice to a phenomenon known as "family estrangement": adult children cutting off their parents, refusing to speak to them, even barring them from seeing the grandkids. A large-scale national survey confirms a recent increase in this phenomenon: almost 30 percent of Americans eighteen and older had cut off a family member.
Are the ostracized parents typically abusive? No, Coleman said; in general, he doesn't believe they are. From his own practice, Coleman has observed that adults who were abused as children very often blame themselves for the abuse. "Often, they're more interested in salvaging whatever they can of parental love." […]
When parents confront the adult children who've cut them off, Coleman tells me, the most typical explanation they give is: "Well, my therapist said, you emotionally abused me or you're emotionally incestuous. Or you have a narcissistic personality disorder? The parents, of course, respond defensively, and that just feels like proof positive to the adult child!" Coleman added, "I've wanted to write an article for the longest time with a title something like, Your Biggest Threat to Your Relationship with Your Child Isn't Parenting, It's the Therapist They're Going to See at Some Point."
One of the most damaging ideas to leach into the cultural bloodstream, according to Coleman, is that all unhappiness in adults is traceable to childhood trauma. Therapists have made endless mischief from this baseless and unfalsifiable assertion.
This is precisely how therapy often encourages young people to look at their lives. If your career isn't going well, if you're having trouble in relationships, if you're dissatisfied with your life, commence the hunt for hidden childhood traumas. And since parents are ultimately responsible for your childhood, any unearthed "childhood trauma" inevitably reads as an indictment of parents.
This might seem impossible, but remember this. Many practicing Muslim parents are already struggling with their children because the children are told not to do certain things in Islam, even though it is the norm for the child 8+ hours each day.
“Why can’t I listen to music?”
“Why can’t I go to the dance?”
“Why do I have to wear a hijab?”
“Why can’t I have a boyfriend?”
“Why can’t I have a girlfriend?”
“Why do I have to pray in school? Can’t I just come home and pray?”
There is already a lot of clash inside your child’s mind because they feel like they have to live two different lives.
Now imagine your children hearing the words that makes it “click” for them. Most of their problems were because of their parents. Your kids might not even go to a therapist, but now the therapist comes to them in the form of viral social media posts by so-called “experts” in the field of therapy.
Your relationship with your child was already on thin ice, and here comes a bad therapist with the ice pick. Let’s not forget your children’s’ non-Muslim friends who are already more likely to think their parents are “toxic” because they try to enforce basic rules.
The threshold for discipline and tolerance keeps dropping, and now a parent’s actions or restrictions are considered abusive over petty things.
We have to remember that cutting off the ties of kinship is a huge sin in Islam, and has severe consequences:
“And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).”
Ar-Ra`d 13:25
Parents will make mistakes and will be hard on children and there will always be a pull and tug, but it’s no reason to literally cut them off for the rest of your life.
Of course none of these scenarios are a guarantee, and the public school child can end up being a righteous Muslim, but you have to be realistic with the statistics. Don’t turn the exception into the rule and think your child or your family are the exception and immune to the problems and desires of society.
Even the Prophet ﷺ was guaranteed Jannah, but he was still told by Allah to praise his Lord and ask for forgiveness in Surah Nasr. He ﷺ took action and kept taking action till his last breath, even though he was promised Jannah. He didn’t want to be complacent and just let things go nilly willy.
Don’t ruin your relationship with your children from the start. Mothers especially need to stay at home and nourish the child and solidify that relationship between mother and child. Research has shown that babies literally mourn when their mothers are not present, and if your child is in a daycare, their relationship with you in the long run will continue to be damaged, requiring more and more effort to repair later on.
Once again, we’re talking about normal parents who make normal parenting mistakes, not parents who are sexual predators or those who abuse their children physically and emotionally.
Quotes from Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up